User:Shard/Skilloftheday

- - "You randomly use this on target random party member (but never on the ghostly hero) at random times. That party member moves faster for 12 seconds unless it's a frontliner or a henchman. (lolAI)"

Ion Cannon - - "Deals heavy damage to all buildings in range, kills ground units in the area instantly."

- - "For 9 seconds, it's like you have a scythe, except you attack half as fast."

- - "Tell the other team you're coming. You move faster and gain health while moving.  Like Escape, this doesn't end when you attack."

- see Invoke Lightning for skill cost, activation time, recharge, and description.

- "Does nothing. When it ends, you turn into an Elementalist."

- "ArenaNet balances PvP."

- "Spawn Michael Jackson at your son's location... (Attribute: Expertise) "

- "When you attack your target, your target is the target you didn't target, but not one you don't want to target, unless it is, in which case it's not."

- "Why did you pick a ranger if you're going to get in people's faces anyway!?"

- "Interrupt target foe's action. If you interrupted a fire ele bot or RoJ bot in Jade Quarry, that target stands still for  seconds and kills itself via empathy."

"We're Back!" - Scare all dead allies within earshot back to life.

- - Ban target customer. This skill ignores the effects of innocence.

Mantra of Wasabi - - Create 1,000,000 gold on your account. For As long as you are in ZoS, you are immune to Power Block.

- - "For 10 seconds, your scythe attacks kill normal enemies in one hit and bosses in three hits."

- - "For 25 seconds, you don't look like a shadow or move like one, but you still cast a shadow onto the ground.  Skills that create light don't instantly kill you, and the only skills in the whole game that can hit you are either monster skills or bugged skills.

Disappear - - "You disappear for 10 seconds."

- - "If target foe is at a certain distance from you, that foe is knocked down for 25 seconds."

- - "Create a Ward Against Harm at your location.  For  seconds, fire damage dealt to allies inside the ward is converted to balanced damage."

Echo

- - "Lingering Curse minus AoE. (Attribute: No Skills Left Behind) "

- "For seconds, nothing happens to weapon spells."

- - "Glimmering Mark + Glimmering Mark + Glimmering Mark + Glimmering Mark on target foe and nearby foes."

- - "If target foe is using a skill, that foe and all foes in the area say "F'kin' cry" in vent."

Ion Cannon - "Gain control of target capture point."

- - "For its recharge seconds, target and nearby foes attack 25% faster and have a 50% chance to miss attacks.  If you're in Hard Mode, ignore the attacking faster part."

- - "For 10 seconds, you can't play this game."

- - "Deals  damage to target foe.  If you have more energy than that foe are an elementalist, you gain  energy plus another 2 from fire attunement."

- - Does nothing unless you're a mesmer with zero mesmer skills. (Attribute: Gimmick Mastery)

- -
 * "I'm wounded..."
 * "GET UP!!!!"
 * "I feel better!"

- - "Your staff creates three magical daggers which fly towards target foe.  If they take more than 352 days to get there, there's a chance they might get obstructed or dodged.  Each dagger deals  earth damage that gets treated as physical damage for some reason sometimes and counts as a lead attack."

- - "If you're not running, you become more useless than if you just died and wait to res."

Divine Favor - "For each point in Divine Favor, you get a bonus to your primary profession's skills and not to your secondary profession's skills."

Every Other PA - "For each point in ~, your secondary profession's skills get much better and your primary profession's skills become mediocre."

- - "If the other team has physicals, you win this match with a flawless. (Attribute: Reasons why heroes should be banned in pvp) "

- - Concise description: "You gain  adrenaline."

- - "This is what Prince Rurik used before Dagnar killed him.  Whole lot of good it did.  Maybe if the skill was worth the skill slot, Rurik would have been helped."

- - Better than Glyph of Greater Energy.

- - "(Elite Signet) This deals  damage to target foe and you gain  health."

- - "For  days, ArenaNet doesn't have a clue how to fix their game.  This hex is renewed whenever they ignore community feedback."

- - "If you have 6 attack skills on your bar, target foe dies.  If this gets interrupted, target foe dies after 4 seconds.  If one of your attack skills gets diverted, that target still dies.  If this skill gets diverted, the other Palm Strike sin will have to tell you when he's applying permacripple because you're probably a shit player who can't just see what he does it."

- - "For  seconds, all foes take 50% more damage from all sources and suffer 50% more health degen than usual."

- - "Elite Hex Spell.  For the rest of the match, enemy monks have -1 energy degen and can't cast spells. (Attribute: Reasons why heroes should be banned in pvp) "

- - "You begin autoattacking target foe.  For the next 20 seconds, feel free to download large quantities of Stripteases...Interracial...Girl-on-Girl and play the internetz one-handed while the monk you're targeting can't do anything.  After 20 seconds, the monk you were attacking will be dead, and you can click on another target, cast on him, and go "afk" for 20 more seconds ;) "

- - "For infinity seconds, whenever target monk tries to use channeling, that foe suffers from bleeding for 10 seconds instead. (Attribute: Reasons why heroes should be banned in pvp) "

- - "Rampage as One, but with some semblance of a balance mechanism."

- - "Exploit the corpse of air.  A level  bone minion comes out of your ass, which gives you a delayed +12 energy, passive dps, meat shield bodyblockers, and free aoe explosions when they die."

- - ""Fall Back!" and you can't use an elite skill."

- - "For forever...eternity...infinity (oops, the duration doesn't scale) seconds, target enemy team cannot use hex removals."

Double Dragon Damage - - "All nearby foes are struck for  fire damage.  For the rest of the match, your fire magic skills do more damage than your frontline...oh wait, you replaced your frontline with more fire eles...I forgot frontliners are obsolete now."

- - "For  seconds, if you are in a 4v4 arena, target enemy monk evaporates."

- - "RC, but you can target yourself."

- - "You take on the aspect of the bear. Your Energy returns to maximum and you have -2 Energy degeneration. You have + armor and + maximum Health but can still die if you're a retard. You lose all enchantments and brain power. Bear attacks replace your skills. You gain Energy every time you take or deal damage. This skill ends when your Energy drops to 0 or when you aggro 5 mobs, thinking this skill somehow stops damage."

- - Your red bar goes up. Your blue bar goes up. Enemy's red bar goes down. Your scrubbiness goes up. Anet's competence does down.

- - While you maintain this, you gain +15 armor, but lose +13 armor because you no longer have your weapon sets. In essence, this skill does nothing other than wasting your time.

- - "For 20 seconds, if you are in an iway team, you become immune to damage.  If you are on a balanced team, you fail because you'll only take damage anyway if you're the last person left alive. (Attribute: Skills made specifically for gimmicks) "

- - "Draw Conditions + and that blue bar goes up...don't quite know what it's for anyway. (Attribute: Why do necros have a monk skill?) "

- - "For  seconds, your allies' next  skills can't be interrupted.  If you are on an altar objective, this single-handedly makes you win. (Attribute: Command) "

- "Animate Bone Fiend, but without the need for a corpse."

- - "Target foe dies.  If that foe was a human controlled player, they smash their keyboards out of frustration of repeatedly being party wiped by a single skill."

"For Great Justice Injustice!" (PvP) - - "For one update, skills that are actually overpowered, overused, abusable, and which actually cause problems get the axe instead of balanced skills like this one, which have strangely enough been unchanged in the last 3.5 years."

Amulet of Protection Healing - - " You can't take more than  damage per second.  Whenever you take more than  damage in a second, the extra damage is prevented.  you are healed for any damage over that amount. after one second, you are healed for as much damage as you took life you lost more than that amount. *not including degen effects or deep wound.
 * Concise Description: "Weaker version of Spirit Bond"

Superuberleetsauce - "Protection Prayers: This deals  damage to your target. If your target lives through this, they die anyway. This skill can be used from other maps. If this skill is interrupted, Leeloof loses his virginity. If you use this skill on a full moon, you capture Hall of Heroes."

- "If the other team is stupid, they explode. Otherwise, you explode. (Attribute: The most fun skill in GW, sadly nerfed because it's easier to get your failure of a game balancer to roll a die than it is to fix a simple bug.) "

- - "You gain 15 energy, then instantly cast Vampiric Gaze on target foe, then instantly cast Healing Breeze on yourself. (Attribute: The 8 skill limit was there for a reason izzy.  That reason: to prevent people from bringing multiple copies of the same shit.  You fail as a game balancer.) "

Autoattack - - "Up to three target adjacent foes each take 7...80...92 damage. (Attribute: Broken Game Mechanics) "

- - "Knock down target foe for Sorry Shard, we absolutely have no way of scaling knockdown durations...Ohh, he suggested hiring a half-competent programmer to do it right...Still too much for little spec to be deadly with seconds."

- - You scream so loud that a highly concentrated burst of sound waves surrounds your allies, giving them more armor than armor gives.

- - "Yell at your allies for being such bad paraway nubs!  Their retributive anger towards you gives them health for some reason."

- - "After 3 second, each party member gains 0...0...enough energy to cast the best skill in the game . (Attribute: Joke Skills) "

- - "Target foe takes Flare damage.  This skill Is free...Gives you some energy...Gives you a free Meteor Shower . (Attribute: The only attribute that has never been weakened in the past 3.5 years) "

- - "For Until it gets stripped seconds, whenever you use a skill so bad it costs nothing, you gain enough energy to cast half a good skill."

- - "If you cast this on a monk, that monk can't heal people who need it without killing himself.  If you put it on a Guild Lord, he does 5000 damage to himself and you win the game." (Attribute: Skills which exploit badly coded AI)

- - "Wail of Doom target enemy."

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick - - "You perform a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick on target foe's jaw.  That foe flies  miles before landing in the Nevada Test Site, which results in a catastrophic explosion that the scientists there mistake for a nuclear test.  One of them retrieves what was left of target foe's Pwn3d body and mails it to you, but before he gets to his mailbox, Chuck Norris shows up and roundhouse kicks him in the jaw, sending him  miles back to your location, causing him to hit the ground at the speed of light, creating a ginormous explosion, which kills everything on the map.  You survive because the only thing that can counter a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick is another Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick, and NOT a nuclear explosion.

- - "Remove an enchantment from target touched foe."
 * //Izzy note: We need to add some kind of drawback. Right now it's better than all other enchant removals.
 * "You may or may not lose an enchantment."
 * //Izzy note: Much better.

Kill Target Monk - - "For 10 seconds, Spiteful Spirit plus Spiteful Spirit.  Since you're going to cast 3 more hexes after this because you're bad at the game and can barely even win running hexway, wastrel's worry spam guarantees your target will take an additional  damage until this effect expires."

One of Guild Wars's "Power Nine" - - "Stop target spike in its tracks.  If you did, target ally gets a nice OCD-friendly maxed out red health bar and target Wounding Strike dervish is owned for the next  seconds."

Nonelite Migraine - - For Migraine seconds, Migraine, and whenever your opponent tries to cast a spell, Spiteful Spirit. (Attribute: Two elites rolled into a non-elite)

- - "For Too long...Still too long...Age of the universe, target monk either doesn't use skills, or he and someone else lose all their energy."

- - "Orison of Healing plus  health plus Purge Conditions."

- - For 10 seconds, all your attack skills become worse. (Attribute: Izzy pretending to make skills balanced by making an elite that nobody will ever use.)

- - For 3 seconds, you take triple damage and are the target of every enemy on the map. When you finish casting this, yeah pretty much nothing changes.

- - "For  seconds, if you're a monk, your party LOL LOOK AT ALL THE NUMBERS ON MY SCREEN OMG LOL NO WONDER PVE IS A JOKE!!!"

- - "Target foe and nearby foes take  damage times how many seconds this has been active each second for 5 seconds."

- - "For 20 seconds, if this is your first time fighting Shiro, your party dies.  Otherwise, Shiro becomes a damage magnet, and after he takes 600 damage, he steals it all back like Xinrae's Weapon does."

- - "Barrage plus damage minus drawback."

- - "While you maintain ~, Healer's Boon.  When this ends, epic le gg ftw lol bbq tele-res with full health and energy from ANYWHERE!!!  Leet."

- - "For Less than Shadow Form seconds, you wonder why you brought such a useless elite.

- - "After 3...2...1 seconds, target enemy takes 700 damage.  If you're on a small HA map, three foes take 700 damage each.  If you're on an altar or cap points map, you win the game." (Attribute: Not skilled enough to run a real build.)

- - "For each dead moron on your team, you have a diminutively larger chance of winning.  Chances are, if this skill actually accomplishes something in a match, you're going to lose anyway." (Attribute: You're an idiot.)

- - "Remove Lots...Tons...Speed of Light enchantments from target foe.  This skill would be broken up it's ass if it didn't have a drawback so...umm, hmm... take 40 damage."
 * Concise Description - "Well of the Profane minus conditional minus energy cost minus cast time minus range restriction."

- - "You ignore any bits of positioning strategy still in the game.  After 3 seconds, target foe takes 400 damage and suffers from a bunch of conditions that don't make sense (yeah I'm sure daggers will cause poison if you swing them a certain way)."
 * Concise Description - "As long as this is on your skill bar, you're bad at the game."

- - "Create a Ward Against Foes on target enemy's face.  For Ward Against Foes seconds, that foe and all foes near you have Frozen Burst on them, but for, you know, three times the duration at one third the cost."

God Mode - - "For  seconds, you become immune to cracked armor, cripple, bleeding, blind, burning, daze, disease, lawsuits, poison, weakness, and death."

- - "Create a level 20 Warrior with  points in Sword Mastery and a permanent Sprint.  You can't have more than one of these at a time."
 * Concise description - "You have an automatic +14% extra chance of winning every match."

Rampage as One Hammer Warrior and One Sword Warrior with Both Unremovable Sprint AND Burst of Aggression - - "For Too long...Still Too long...Guess Again seconds, if you're a real ranger, nothing happens.  If you're running gimmicky bullshit, you become G O D L I K E ! [/unrealtournament]"

- - "The next time a member of your team would be wanded, that ally takes no damage."

Use with Practiced Stance - - "For 3 attacks worth...15 attacks worth...OMG seconds, whenever you fire an arrow, you interrupt target foe and adjacent foes.  This interrupts people through block, blind, miss hexes, obstructions, lawsuits, and alternate dimensions."

Decrapitate - - Target foe's RoF heals him for 100, then you become useless for 10 seconds.

- - "For 20 seconds, the next time target foe's monk would use a hex removal, it fails and you gain  health.  This stacks."

- - "Target physical becomes useless for  seconds.  If you are part necromancer, two enemy physicals become useless instead.  If you are running a lame signet build, prevent all physical damage that would be dealt for the rest of the game."

- - "Target dervish deals 1...12...  more damage in melee.  You can't cast more than 4 of these before the match starts.

- - "You lose 5 energy. (Attribute: You're an idiot.) "

- - "Reversal of Fortune plus Vampiric Gaze plus Protective Bond minus Energy Cost minus Activation Time minus Recharge."

- - "Each party member's next attack does an additional + damage.  You gain  energy."

- 2 after Expertise, 0, same as duration - "For seconds, you do exactly the opposite of this skill's name.  Enemies can't kite you, physicals can't touch you, and since you're already a ranger, elemental damage doesn't hurt you."

- - "For 5 seconds, all allies within Radar range...The entire map...Every pvp map are enchanted by this.  Each time an ally hits with an attack, that ally's target loses all his prots and utility enchantments, and you lose 1 health."

- - "Create a level  spirit.  For all creatures within its range, prophecies professions get screwed, and expansion professions can play unhindered."

(Prebuff) - - "Passive skill.  Changes the icon of one of the empty skill slots on your bar."

Use With Entangling Asp - "Target foe takes 90 damage.  This counts as a lead attack for some reason, even though it isn't an attack and only leads into another non-attack."

- "Shoot an arrow that deals only  damage.  If it hits a foe using a skill, that skill is disabled for 20 seconds.  If it hits a foe using a 1/16 second cast, you transform into a Ghostly Hero.  If it hits a foe using a stance, the world explodes. This attack ignores flight time."

Channeling - - "For  seconds, you become bad at managing energy.  You become % more susceptible to balling up in aoe with your other monk, and you forget how to kite. (Attribute: Divine Favor) "

- - "Resurrect target dead ally with 1 health and no energy.  Oops they just died again because you have resurrect on your bar, read what it does you idiot.  For  years, this skill becomes perma-locked on your account and you're not allowed to play with real people anymore."

- - "For 8 seconds, your split team becomes immune to the enemy split team.  If an enemy deals damage to you after you cast this healing spell, that player Gets owned...dies...dies again .  If that enemy hits you, you steal  life from him, and even if he doesn't have that much, you get healed the full amount.  Oh yeah, and you lose a condition too.  This can't be interrupted.  This can't be stripped.  When this ends, its controller will cast another one right away because it has no recharge."
 * Concise description: "Remove target enemy split team from the match...game...universe "

- "Why do you need to read the description after that?"

- , -1 - "While you maintain Mending, you gain + health regeneration and become % more brave. You become % less aware of how fast you are dying.  You can only attack other warriors while under this enchantment."

- - "For  seconds, you gain + ∞ armor against pve.  You can't fail missions and you can't die while running people.  Attacks, spells, chants, shouts, stances, monster skills, lawsuits, area effects, obelisk lightning, and laws of physics against you fail.  Whenever a rare material drops for you, a baby kangaroo dies."

- "If this attack hits, it strikes for Error: Parsing variable list "

- - "Remove target player from the game for  seconds."