User:Jette

on titles: why mine are more fun to watch
Premium Member: Attain 34 character slots.

Legendary poopsocking: Delete ten characters who have earned the "God Walking Amongst Mere Mortals" title.

Master Manipulator: Win 100,000 PvP games as a result of the opposing team resigning.

Free Love: Get banned for cybering in public.

Internet Tough Guy: Get reported for verbal abuse by 10,000 unique accounts.

Ascetic: Complete 50,000 dungeons in Hard Mode without claiming drops or opening chests.

stuff I miss
I miss Droknar's Forge runs.

I miss the campfire.

I miss boon prots.

I miss bond monks.

I miss Eviscerate costing less than Executioner's Strike with the same damage.

I miss keeping adrenaline after death.

I miss minion factories.

I miss Fragility doing 36 damage.

I miss Peace and Harmony giving +1 energy regeneation and ending if you take an offensive action.

I miss Protective Bond maxing out at 1 energy per hit.

I miss shit not running from AoE.

I miss the terminally retarded pre-built PvP builds endorsed by ANet and used by no-one.

I miss Aegis.

I miss Zealot's Fire ignoring armor.

I miss being the only guy who knew beans about the Underworld or Fissure of Woe past the Labyrinth and the Temple.

I miss Mend Ailment being the only reasonable self-targeting condition-removal for 4v4 arenas.

I miss 4v4 arenas not sucking a male camel's dick.

I miss steamrolling PvE with a mob of 30 minions.

I miss IWAY, goddammit.

I miss non-nigger mechanics in Guild versus Guild.

I miss pointlessly placed skills in attributes that don't change their functions.

I miss the seaside Random Arenas and the snowed-in Team Arenas.

I miss pants-on-head retarded spirit mechanics that let you stack 5 Fertile Seasons that each gave 600 health.

I miss bizarre skills like Otyugh's Cry, and still don't know what the fuck an Otyugh is supposed to be.

I miss EoE bombs and the innumberable awesome scenarious they created.

I miss bunny thumpers.

I miss having to time interrupt attacks like Savage Slash and Skull Crack.

I miss the Evade mechanic.

I miss being a complete novice and looking for hours to find Hundred Blades on Bonetti and various Charr bosses.

I miss strange and confusing spike teams.

I miss Broken Tower, but I do not miss Scarred Earth.

I miss Alliance Battles that were fun and entertaining instead of just annoying. On a related subject, I miss ever getting to see Saltspray Beach, which is the only good map anyway.

I miss quick thinking and application of practice and skill making a substantial difference in how much pressure a team could withstand or deal.

I miss ward-range Rodgort's.

I miss the post-NF release PvP environment, as stupid and frustrating as it was, because it was still better than this.

I miss the complete absence of titles.

I miss people begging for help to capture Avatar of Balthazar because that cocksucker did 300 damage a hit, and that was considered a lot instead of normal.

I miss dealing wtfax damage with aura of holy might.

I miss playing Paragons without the entire bar focused around Save Yourselves.

I miss Ursan, because as god-awful as it was, it was still better than shadow form.

I miss people playing for fun instead of dungeon chests.

I miss when people mostly used their primary profession with skills to supplement their secondary profession, instead of dumping points in their primary to hypercharge their secondary.

I miss having some vague interest in high-level GvG, and I miss participating in Tombs when it sucked marginally less than it does now.

I miss being able to successfully piss people off at how imbalanced the game was becoming, because now it's like pissing in the breeze.

my experiences in-game
Once upon a time, I was trolling in Random Arenas American District 1. I called one of the players a motherfucker. Game master Regina Buenaobra scolded me for my vulgar language. She told the shitters in the district that I got a nasty filthy mouth.

ANet whupped my ass ANet whupped my ass ANet whupped my ass ANet whupped my ass

For the second time, I told the blue team to fuck off. I also told game master Regina Buenaobra to suck a European bison's dick. She got so tired of my bullshit. She told me to take a week off to cool down. She then banned my sneaky ass.

ANet whupped my ass ANet whupped my ass ANet whupped my ass ANet whupped my ass

When I went to Bellevue that same Monday, I picked up a two-by-four. I went up to the Border House and clocked the game master in the head. She fell to the floor unconscious. Suddenly, the police was called on me. I then ran out of town with a grin on my face being chased after by the cops.

ANet whupped my ass ANet whupped my ass ANet whupped my ass ANet whupped my ass

Rock over Kryta Rock on, Kamadan Absinthe — it'll fuck your ass up