User:E V I L/The Legend Of Evil

Evil was "born" (see Biography) in 1842. He grew up in North Wilkinshiretonvile where he lived at a gas station on the border of New Mexico and Israel. After a troublesome childhood involving illicit drugs, weapons and fluffy rabbits, he headed North to Afghanistan so seek fame and fortune in the Lawn Bowls Industry.

Biography
Evil was created during the Big Bang amongst the planets and the universe. He lay dormant for many thousands of years before being reawakened in North Wilkinshiretonvile in 1842. This event was used in the film Transformers (2006), where Megatron was awakened by the old man in the coat with the glasses.

Shortly after his "birth" in 1842 Evil told Akbar Khan, son of Dost Mohammed Khan, about the troops hiding in the garrison in Jalalabad. Akbar then carried out orders to Massacre the Elphinstone's Army on the road from Kabul. This was seen as an amazing feat as Ben could not talk, walk or fire a weapon at this stage.

In 1848 Evil had just turned 6 years old, when he declared women have no rights. Shortly after, the 2-day Women's Rights Convention opened in Seneca Falls, New York. He was then invited to participate to show that women do indeed have rights. He was then convinced that this was true, but still believed that Boys come from Mars, and girls come from Venus.

In 1856, He then joined 500 Mormons and left Iowa City, Iowa to head west for Salt Lake City, Utah. All the people had to carry their possessions in a two-wheeled handcart. This caused Evil to become Uber strong allowing him to be able to Pwn all Noobs. Later he stated "All Your Base Are Belong To Us.

In 1883, Evil arrives in Seattle, United States. A sudden depression sets in.

In 1900 Ada Williams was hanged for the murder of a 21 month old girl. At the hanging, Evil was spotted in the crowd boo-ing at Ada. Later he stated that he was more angry about the fact that there was a man called Ada. "I don't understand how a parent could call their son Ada... Its so stupid!" -New York Times, 1900.

In 1915, (also known as MCMXV), Evil was involved in the house of representatives that rejected the proposal to give women the right to vote. After this demand was rejected, Ben French was truly satisfied from the previously ongoing intrusion of women in 1848.

In 1921, Evil help found the International Communist Parties from all over the world. Ben helped countries such as Italy, Spain and China become as one.

After Much debate in the 1930's, Evil was allowed back into America.

In 1932, It was reported that a farmers' revolt had started. This farmer turned out to be Evil who was angry at his Betsy (cow) as she had given him "too much sour milk over these past few years". He then proceeded to shoot 6 people, including members of the county, and several cows. Betsy did not make it.

In 1941, Evil was one of the planes used to bomb pearl harbor.

In 1959, Evil got angry after trying to read the label of a plant. However the plant name wad written in Latin, and caused much confusion to him. He then proceeded to call his Cultivar friends, and together they launched a policy. this policy stated that plants named after the date of January 1, must named in a modern language, not in Latin. He then proceeded to chuckle for several minutes.

In 1967, Evil assassinated the American Nazi Party Leader George Lincoln Rockwell in Arlington, Virginia. This was due to a heated argument over the colour scheme that would be incorporated into the new Nazi uniform.

Evil decided that the year 1972 would be a leap year starting on Saturday.

In 1984, Evil pretended to be United States President, Ronald Reagan on a radio station. He then announced, "My fellow Americans, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in 5 minutes".

In the 1990's, nothing amusingly interesting happened that Evil could find on Wikipedia.

The year 2000 was the target of Y2K concerns, (also known as Evil concerns). This led to the fear that all Evil's in working format would short circuit and destroy the planet. No major errors were seen.

Cat Hunter: 2001
In 2001 Evil and his young wife Matilda Hitler took over the vaticant, declaring that all christians had to resighn their tax money to the church or shalt all humans shalt be thy shalted into the un-holy fires of death and shalt-e-ness. From there he used the power of bacon to control the minds of the greater American population in order to increase consumtion of Cyanide flavoured Sherbert, Ben French beeing the man Share holder of the product.

Following the delicious suicide of more than half the American people, Evil used his new found booty to create the worlds largest pirate ship, constructed souly of onion soup fused with smashed up copies of Star Wars Episode I, The Phantom Menice. The ship was then used to travel to Amsterdam where Ben French Partisipated in the 'Missing Bananna ' Festival.

Trivia
>The person known as "Tank Man" who stood in front of the tanks in Tienanmen Square was Evil.

>Evil created Myspace.

>Evil is the monster hiding under your bed.

>The 2006 film Transformers' character Megatron was based on Evil.