User:Konig Des Todes/Mad King Thorn

Greetings, I am the beloved King Thorn of Kryta, though many call me the "mad king" - they don't know what they're talking about! Once upon a time, I ruled Kryta as it's king. My lovely court are currently looking into how to bring me back so that I may rule my loving little subjects again. But they don't seem to know much about how to break the seals keeping me from appearing only on Halloween. Some say that I'm known for my insanity, but personally I have to say it is my lovely attitude towards life and this stylish hairstyle. What? You don't see the hair? OF COURSE YOU DON'T! I have a pumpkin for a head! HA HA HA HA HA!

And they say my humor can kill. Wait, why are you on the ground? Ah, never mind. What, you want to know more about me? Alright then. You're lucky I don't do to you what I did to all those ungrateful peasants back when I was alive. Did you know I had an entire village skinned alive? Ah, what a lovely day that was. I also always loved to have exquisite banquets, even when famine plagued the country-side. As the Countess of Hakewood says, I always knew how to prioritize. Just like how I prioritized those I pick for Rock, Paper, Scissors - those not paying attention come first!

Few people knows exactly when I lived, and that's only because I like to keep my age a secret - if people knew that, I may just have to kill them, like those peasants. Why did those peasants revolt against me anyways? Ah, what a painful time that was... carving knife... pitchforks and torches... being burned alive. I'd say that would drive a man insane! I don't even know everything those ungrateful peasants did to my body... creative bunch.

Oh, if you ever see that runt Palawa Joko, give him a good taunt in my name. He was a petty up and coming king when I ruled and was always at odds with me. Of course, I'll do him in someday, but I just love to hear him get riled up!

What's this? You want more? My, you're as needy as the Winter Dwarf! Fine. While I lived, I had eight wives. The fifth, Zola, was my favorite. Or so I let my subjects to believe. She bored me, so instead of a divorce, I had her burned alive! It's a shame really, she was really hot. HA HA HA HA HA! Ah, that reminds me of the time I used a mask made out of Mandragor Carapaces to win over an Istani princess's heart. Shame what happened to her.

Ah, where was I? Oh right. BEG FOR ME OR DIE NOW! If you do beg, I'll give you a treat... See, was that so hard? Ah, I love to see people grovel at my feet.

Halloween Finale
I always love to appear in what my royal subjects call a "mushroom circle," though I prefer to call it my ring of madness, for what else could it be? when I visit Lion's Arch and Kamadan for the whole day on October 31st (PDT) for Halloween, I'll appear every 3 hours to spread my hilarious jokes and reward those who laugh! My lovely undead herald, Bruce, did you know what happened to him, by the way? Fun story. Anyways, he'll routinely warn travelers of yours truly's impending arrival in both port cities. When I arrive, the people will immediately subject themselves to my every command. Any who don't listen must die! Hahaha!

If the players do what I wants - by using these things called "emotes" - I'll reward them with Trick-or-Treat Bags, because everyone loves candy! If they fail to obey their rightful king's commands, a very simple thing happens. I KILL THEM! But don't worry, if you die this way, I'll bring you back so that you can still enjoy my lovely jokes. After all, if I killed everyone and just left them, there would be no one to laugh at my jokes!

Before I leave, I always play a game of Mad King Says, it's the most enjoyable and deadly game in all of Tyria! After 30 minutes of a lovely, and to some, painful, visit, I sadly must leave, but I'll give my faithful subjects a nice little reward.

Where you can find me

 * Prophecies
 * Kryta
 * Nightfall
 * Istan
 * Istan

Sadly, I only appear on Halloween day.

My killer lines
There's so many jokes to tell, there wouldn't be enough room for the rest of my fabulousness on this page if they were here! You'll have to look over here for all my great jokes. You better laugh while reading, or else!