User talk:Avatar of grenth/Books

"Burning Passion"
There's no story here. None. The narrator doesn't identify themself in any way, just starts spewing big words to emphasize his (or her?) obsession. The narrator explains nothing, only giving small insinuations to what he did with fire. Burn a few trees down? Really? That's all he did? Hurt his friends? That's not even explained. And then it goes back to mentioning trees again. "Trees soon went to homes?" That whole sentance makes no sense. Then BACK to the friends thing. The narrator loses a loved one but doesn't even mention their name, who they were, nothing. Apparently he was jailed for the things he did but readers sure as hell wouldn't know how or why. Overall, there's nothing here. What IS here is uneven and confused. This looks more like a bad summary than an actual story.--  anguard  20:03, 23 January 2009 (UTC)

"The 100th Victim"
Once more, no names are given. No description by any means. No imagery is painted. Right at the start the writer tries oh, so very hard to let the readers know that the man was insane, ugly, scarred, and disgusting. But no explanation is given to WHY they thought he was insane, HOW he got any scars. Then within two sentances, it's a year later and he's murdering people. There's a DECENT premise here, albeit an already used one. (Reading this, the story of Frankenstein came to mind). But it's wasted on speed, the story seems like it was thought up in minutes. I will give it this much, it's a little better than "Burning Passion", because it's got a clever storyline behind it but it needs to be extended massively.--  anguard  20:10, 23 January 2009 (UTC)