User:NuclearVII/Older Posts

I've been thinking about many things lately. Most of them are things which are pointless to write down, because everyone is already thinking about them, and some I can't really discuss, not without losing a part of myself. At any rate, I've been thinking about mostly change. But not the sort of change we see and feel every day, the sort of absolute, ultimate, complete change we all seek and yet dread.

Is change possible? Are we, or is anything, doomed to be one thing and one thing only from the dawn of creation? Is existence doomed with a single purpose that cannot change, barring perhaps death. If so, is our free will worthless when we cannot decide on that which matters most - our purpose - and change it?

This is beyond the mere nuture vs. nature argument, or maybe I like to believe it is. Is it possible for a man to completely reinvent himself, a concept to completely change - but, crucially, willingly - to something else? I'm not talking about for the better or for the worse, for that distinction is a secondary concern when the possibility of change is in question. I would say with my meager experience that willful change is something to be admiredd, if not worshipped.

Another part of the argument is a little subtler - how about belief in change? Even if it was posssible, is change worth anything if we cannot believe it? What, then, is good for one to seek to change himself when others cannot accept or believe it when and where it counts? Should we then forsake our will to change, perhaps playing into Fate's hands? Is there even fate at all, and if there is fate, can she accept our consicous choice to change? Will she allow it?

Just something to think about, if anybody is still bothering to watch this page. I know I do, from time to time.

Going back to a more corporeal subject, I'm glad to see that GWW has finally managed to get a seperate suggestions section going. It is late by all counts, but as the saying goes, it is better than never. I'd like that I have played some part in this development, with my incessant swearing and whining and all that. It is a foolish hope, but it is one I'll cling to until it burns out.

I wish the best to all the people who are working like rabid dogs from keeping this place (and the game itself) from falling apart. It's not easy, and I think I can only say now that I understand why. My only wish is that the madmen along with the sane work together in keeping this old wreck of a game alive, and keep it healthy enough to be an example to her successor. I'm for too strung out and out of touch to make a difference, perhaps the crew here can do it. That, also, is a false hope, but one I will cling to, I know many others do as well.

Awesome bands no one has heard of:

At least, where I live


 * 1) Kiuas
 * 2) Lich King
 * 3) Skyfire
 * 4) Bleed in Vain
 * 5) Circus Maximus
 * 6) Evile
 * 7) Bonded By Blood
 * 8) Hallows Eve
 * 9) Mercyful Fate - Not sure about this one, they were pretty big before dissolving
 * 10) Bolt Thrower - Again, not sure about this one either, I understand that they have a cult following
 * 11) Impelliteri
 * 12) Firewind
 * 13) Haggard
 * 14) Disarmonia Mundi

Hi, I'm nuke
Hi. My name is NuclearVII, and I'm pretty terrible.

If you came upon this page, rest assured that you, too, are also terrible. That's okay. We are all terrible people around here. you'll fit right in.

A few things to know about me:

1) Trolls make me hard.

2) Auron rants make me harder.

3) When you demonstrate your terribleness, I become validated and happy.

4) I don't play the game, didn't for quite some time. I can still make educated guesses about balance. You do not have any greater credibility than I do, because we are both terrible.

5) I don't have any pretenses for posting in the feedback namespace. All posts there are made by terrible people, and thus are terrible. We all post there to stroke our epeens and enlarge aforementioned epeens.

6) I'm a pretty decent guy. Ask and you shall receive, but sexual favors are always appreciated. Just sayin'.

7) If you want to be my friend, there are two ways to go about doing it. One, you can either post on my desolate talkpage and validate my existence for a fraction of a minute, or you can get me hard. Both options are not mutually exclusive.

8) If you comment on my sub-pages, I feel better about myself. Please do, no matter how terrible you might be.

9) Auron, Readem, and Misery make me wet. True story. But they are also terrible in their own right.

10) I make no personal attacks. Swearing is my way of showing affection, you cunt.

That's about it. Remember, I'm pretty terrible.

Nuclear's guide to advanced high end super duper cuisine
Rule 0: You can never make enough omelettes. Bonus points if you serve unique flavours. Bonus infinite points if you order them from User:Pika Fan.

Rule 1: You can never have enough butter. Bonus points if used alongside olive oil and lard. Bonus points for calling this mixture diet and "rich in necessary lipids".

Rule 2: You can never use/serve enough wine. Bonus points for serving the dish in a pool of wine. Bonus points if it's cognac instead. Double bonus points for mixing wine with cognac because it's the "next thing".

Rule 3: Regardless of whatever it is you're serving, serve it along with expensive cheese. Bonus points for moldy/grassy cheese that smells like feet and has the texture of granite. Double bonus points for getting people to pay for it.

Rule 4: Always serve very small portions with retarded price tags. Bonus points for serving them absolutely nothing, and getting people to pay for it.

Rule 5: Feeding the customers is secondary. The primary aim of going out is being price gouged and leaving the restaurant drunk.

Rule 6: People generally don't look at price tags. To ensure premium price gouging, serve a complementary bottle of cheap wine to loosen pockets.

Rule 7: Live music increases the bill by 20%. Both live and recorded music increases the bill by 60% instead.

Swine Flu
I has it! It's not as bad as the press makes it out to be, I mean, I only coughed up blood once, and that probably had something to do with the ground glass in my Latte the other day (Starbucks doesn't pay them enough, and my disgruntled server would rather see me choke in my own blood than to live on tips I don't give). It's mostly just coughing, and now and then you hurl something you don't remember eating. My doctor tells me that it's normal for things to change their shapes in highly concentrated gastric acid, but I'm sure that was an alien symbiont draining my life force. I think the doctor is in on this, but I have no proof yet.

Seriously though, it's not that bad. You can probably tough it out if you have someone to serve you chicken soup or other comfort food on demand. When the fever goes above 38 degrees (that's in Celsius, stop being bad and convert to metric Americans), you stop caring altogether. In fact, my roommates thought I was toasted or something before I coughed blood, so I guess hooray for the starbucks vigilante! When you take antibiotics and eat a shitton of fruit (it's like tangerine central around here), you can get up and walk about to spear spread the epidemic. However, I do like to think that I had an easy time of it because of my oxen constitution and the regular human sacrifice I offer to Angr'argh'th.

On a final note, get vaccinated. It's spreading like wildfire, and you will get the real disease (nothing wrong with that, it's much more fun tbh) if you don't.

Thanksgiving
Ugh, watchlist kersploded with thanksgiving posts. Ugh. The turkey holiday. Ostrich tastes 20x better, eat that. Plus, a lot more stuffing, which is what makes the crappy meat so good in the first place.

Don't wish me a good thanksgiving. Thanks in advance.

Funny holidays
Religious people have funny holidays. Take Christmas, for example: "Yay, Christ was born today, so let's celebrate that and believe that a fat old pedophile (he comes at night, through the one hole you can't close, and you must be asleep) dressed in red will give us toys!" Hurr, okay. Easter is even worse: "Christ died today, so let's stuff our faces with chocolate!" Not that I mind chocolate, or the martyrdom of religious figures.

And it's not just the Christians, either. I think people have faith so they can enjoy the extra holidays, but that's just me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll go celebrate the Martyrdom of Christ and paint my face brown. Where is that Hershey's bottle...

I got a great idea, btw. Let's make a religion that accepts every other day a "spiritual recuperation" day. If we get enough lazy people to join and flock under our banner, we can go official and get tax exempt status. We can also get our holidays recognized by the government, and doing absolutely nothing for one half of the rest of our lives. Wouldn't that be pure awesome? We can call ourselves funny names, give each other funny hats and clothes, and organize massive orgies.

UPDATE: Stop asplodan my watchlist with wintersday celebrations. I can understand why you'd want to wish someone a "Merry XMAS" (which is pretty silly in and of itself, I mean, it happens every year at the same day, so why can't you wish whomever you want to wish a good lifetime of Christmases and leave it at that?) but wishing someone a good wintersday is retarded. Wintersday isn't real. It's a fictional holiday. It was created by ANet so that they could celebrate Christmas without being politically incorrect.

Mine is a whole lot bigger than yours
I want to comment on this recent bit of drama that was spun up by certain people against a certain administrator *cough* Wynthyst *cough*. I'm sure everyone, if not up to date, is aware of the recent situation. Lacky posted on the noticeboard something useless, Wyn told him to stuff his piehole, Lacky got butthurt and Brains blocked Wyn for, well, being a bit of an asshat for that period of time. Now, I'm not even claiming to know the entire thing from inside out, nor do I claim to have the most objective viewpoint. I'm pretty terrible, we've established that. But I'm very well endowed, something we'll come back to in a minute.

What I'd like everybody to pay attention to is the whole process surrounding Wyn's Arbcomn hearing. It feels to me (caveat, I'm terrible) that what was summoned was a gigantic circlejerk with a sysop who has worked quite a bit for the good of the wiki in the middle. Now, was Wyn a "bitch" when handling Lacky? Yes, yes she was. Was she a "bitch" quite a few times before that? Yes, yes she was, and all you need to do is to follow the links at the circlejerking page. Yup, as poke put it, this about more than one issue, and Wyn stands rightly accused of being overly aggressive and abrasive.

But you know what I think? I think she's doing herself a favour by being aggressive. You go girl, if you'll shut up idiots and trolls faster by actually telling them to stuff it without the "Thanks!" at the end, more power to you. Ignore the bitching and the whining, ignore the epeeners and idiots trying to troll you. You've worked so much to keep this wiki from derailing, and I think you earned the right to swear at people for being idiots. All the cool kids are doing it, why are we singling Wyn out? Let's ban Auron! Let's ban ME! In fact, let's issue a policy making it illegal to anything be negative about anything. Sunshine and happiness, that's what we all deserve, let's burn all the naysayers at the stake!

Where does my massive meat come into this? It doesn't, apart from being as relevant as all the accusations against Wyn. Also, penis is always relevant, and mine is very relevant, if you know what I mean.

UPDATE: Anyone feeling lucky? 10$ says that Auron will be first authoritative-ish person to complain about my mighty missile.

I can has ban?
Okay, before moving on with today's post, I'd like to put down a small disclaimer. This post is 90% sarcasm. It's up to you to figure out which 10% isn't. If you can't, please do not comment (or pls do im alone) on it. If you want to ban me, please do it gently because I bruise easily.

I don't know if anyone noticed (props for my homie morphon), but I got banned for a week. So, is this a resentful, ranting, angry, enraged burn-the-gares rant? Of course not. I would never do something like that, I'd rather talk about watermelons or something. No, this post is about something benign and holy: my newfound romance for Gares Redstorm.

You see, on the fateful day I got banned, I was furious. I felt as if my brain would melt, why, I had a good mind to hop onto some of my sock accounts (I think I got about 12 by this point) and post dirty, slanderous things on Gares's page. Hell, why stop there, take it to the ArbCom, stick it to the tyrant man, stand up for the rights of all the trolls and the unjustly accused of this wiki! I could've made a difference. I could've been... a rebel, a rouge.

But just as I was about to engage in some fierce demagogy, I saw the ArbCom request posted by another, an IP. I saw, with great revelation, that the intense onrush of feelings I had concerning Gares weren't those of hatred or anger, they were feelings of love, passion, romance, and lust. That night my eyes refused to shut, every moment I imagined holding my Redstorm close to my chest, whispering lullabies to soothe him after a session of fierce love-making. When Morpheus finally took me to his embrace, I imagined Gares in many ways I cannot properly express on this wiki. I pictured Gares climbing on me as I screamed "storm me, storm me my manly man". I pictured him by my side, his powerful quadriceps flexing and relaxing with every breath. I was happy, inexplicably happy for that one whole night.

But when sun's cursed rays licked me awake, I realized my folly. It would be 6 more long, grueling days before I would see my beautiful Redstorm again, striding through the pages with the zeal of a man who knows his way around another's can. Now that I am finally here, I cannot bring myself to drag my limp body (only at certain places, though) to his talk page and beg for both forgiveness and his hand in marriage and a very rough night or romping in the sack.

So... who wants to play matchmaker?

Wait for it...
Incoming terrible terrible buff to cripshot. Seriously, Anet? I mean, it's a bit of a low blow. I couldn't have predicted an obviously powercreep buff to an already viable skill. Terrible, terrible.

Please, for the love of all that is holy, buff something else if you're pushing powercreep. Hey, there's amity! Make that move twice as fast! Poor, poor cripshot, she doesn't deserve it!

Apart from that, good update overall. I'd give it an 8, but only because the cripshot buff was retarded.

Quotes from Ensign
"It is good to see that Arena.net is using 'elite skills' to prevent people from using degenerate combos, and not to introduce abusively good skills into the game that turn characters into one-trick ponies."

"Giving each character one skill that is leaps and bounds better than the others doesn't lead to diversity, it leads to a bunch of cookie-cutter, one trick ponies."

Let's play "guess the date". Here's a hint, all these are from way, way before Nightfall and Grind of the North. The Trojans lost not because they took the horse in (TAKE IT ALL IN! IMMA HOERS!), but because they didn't listen to Cassandra.

A trend was set
More and more I see people (no I haven't lololol) adding crap into their signature. Even though I'm the original (always will be baby), I take great pride in inspiring others to violate the spirit of GWW:SIGN without doing so. Well, they should, at any rate, since it's massive fun.

If there are any would be trolls out there, here are some more suggestions:

Thanks!

You betcha!

So, no.

Also, please ride me. <--- Might try this

... <--- for that eerie silence

Do you understand?

Could you understand that? <--- Automatically very annoying

Did that satisfy your needs?

(insert any emoticon here)

God save the Queen! <--- Potentially very annoying

If you choose to use any of those, I can't guarantee that you won't get blocked. However, if you do use one and do get blocked, I'll laugh and troll the sysop who blocked you.

...

On another note, I'd like to mention my new occupation. Henceforth, I shall be known as NuclearVII, the chiropractor. After a long, hard day of work, all parts of your body and mind will require relaxation. If the needs of your dorsal region seem particularly grave, that your skeletal system is stressed to the point of giving in, you can call on me. I'll use a combination of rhythmic massages and special lotions to ease your pain and bless you with divine comfort. I'm a board certified therapist, as such, I'm qualified to work with both men and women. I also do group therapy, but need prior knowledge to prepare my lotions in large quantity and calibrate my instruments. I do not normally charge, as the work itself is reward enough (unless if you're ugly).

(note that this is the censored version of the original post)

Wheee, more powercreepan
So, what do we think of the new update, guise? I'd give it a 5, maybe a 6 if I'm feeling happy (right now, I'm not). The shattering assault and Shadow form nerfs were right on spot (though a couple of years too late, but we don't mention that around here), so props for ANet.

The monk/elementalist/mesmer/dervish changes seem pretty lulzy to me, I suppose there's no harm in them, so I won't dwell much on why the hell anyone would use glimmering mark. Though I will mention that if they reduce the cost of obsidian flesh to 5 energy it will see occasional PvP use. The paragon changes (two of them, actually) were also a long time coming, though I would've been happier if they kept it to PvE only. Now we can't lolexplode paragons with body blow; and not body blowing makes me sad.

Now, a detailed list of the necro changes and what I think of them. This is where the fun begins.


 * : increased Health sacrifice to 15%; decreased casting time to 1 second; decreased recharge to 10 seconds; changed functionality to: "Signet. (1...16...20 seconds.) Whenever you cast a Necromancer spell on a foe, that foe suffers from Bleeding for 2...13...16 seconds."
 * That's the problem with necromancers, they need to do more pressure damnit! More condition spamming! It's not like they got poison or disease or an entire line dedicated to bleeding, more degen I say!


 * : increased recharge time to 8 seconds; changed functionality to: "Hex Spell. Also hexes foes adjacent to your target (3...10...12 seconds). Allies hitting these foes gain 5...17...20 Health. If any of these foes dies while hexed, adjacent allies are healed for 20...84...100."
 * See, now dervishes have their very own necromancer skill. 


 * : removed Health sacrifice; increased recharge to 5 seconds; changed functionality to: "Spell. Steal up to 5...37...45 Health from target foe. If that foe was attacking, that foe suffers Weakness for 3...10...12 seconds."
 * Did I mention more conditions? They really needed more melee hate options, so this was a good change.


 * : decreased Health sacrifice to 15%; decreased recharge to 7 seconds; decreased duration to 7 seconds.
 * It's still a bloody necro selfheal (see wut I did thar).


 * : removed Health sacrifice; increased Energy cost to 5; decreased recharge to 30 seconds; changed functionality to: "Enchantment Spell. (30...54...60 seconds.) Whenever you use a skill that targets a foe, you deal 5...17...20 shadow damage to all other foes adjacent to you."
 * The dark bomber needs to be stronger too. They weren't nuking with enough armor ignoring damage.


 * : removed Health sacrifice; increased recharge time to 15 seconds; changed functionality to: "Enchantment Spell. Remove an enchantment from target foe. If an enchantment was removed, for the next 1...12...15 seconds, your next enchantment spell casts 0...1...1 seconds faster and costs 1...8...10 less Energy."
 * See, now blood gets it's first enchantment removal in... gosh, it was a long time since other blood enchant strips saw use. I'm sure this'll bring blood back into play. Who needs curses anyhow? Those skills require an aweful lot of attribute investment, go blood instead! It's not like you got unlinked stack removers.


 * : decreased casting time to 1 second; increased recharge to 5 seconds.
 * Remember what I said about degen? But I think this is bit of an underbuff, after all, necros need better cover hexes. How about we lower the recharge to 2 seconds? It's not like they got other degen skills with similar numbers.


 * : decreased casting time to 3/4 second; changed functionality to: "Hex Spell. (5 seconds.) Allies hitting target foe gain 0...2...2 strikes of adrenaline. End effect: inflicts Cracked Armor (1...12...15 seconds)."
 * MORE CONDITIONS! Oh, and body blow is back in town!


 * : changed skill type to "Skill."
 * Yeah, those damn afflicted assassins dodging mah necorsises! This is a good change, btw, because now you can't echo it with the bad echo.


 * : decreased Energy cost to 10; decreased casting time to 1 second; increased recharge to 10 seconds; changed functionality to: "Spell. Target foe and adjacent foes take 10...26...30 shadow damage. Foes already suffering from a condition are Poisoned and Weakened for 5...17...20 seconds."
 * Whoa. So now we got a class that has has both bleeding, disease, poison, weakness, lawlhexes, and massive shutdown in just two lines? Fuck off, rangers. You guys can't do that much degen. Interrupts, shmenterrupts, who needs those when you got hexes? 


 * : added Health sacrifice of 8%; decreased Energy cost to 1; increased recharge time to 10 seconds; changed functionality to: "Elite Spell. Deals 15...27...30 damage and steals 15...27...30 Health from target and nearby foes."
 * I'm copyrighting the name "ravenousflooms". Don't worry though, the numbers are terrible enough that it'll never see any use. Oh, the packets are tiny? They cut through prot? Hmmm....

Anyway, the ritualist changes are also very interesting, the addition of a ton of hexes could either be good (lolbye ritspike) or horrible (ohai necros). The one skill I see as could be problematic is the new Soul Twisting and Spirit Rift, though I guess rituals and ranged rit spike will remain terrible everywhere.

Finally, the Warrior changes. Tactics and hammers getting buffed is something no one will care about, though I suppose they needed to powercreep something after nerfing necromancers so much (speaking of new necromancers, the new Yeti looks like it's made to go with all the AOE KD hammers got). The sad thing is that I predicted some of those changes, and if you look bellow, you'll see the (still under construction) my powercreep update page.

For listening, Thanks! NuVII  23:18, 28 February 2010 (UTC)

Nuclear Does Movie Reviews
I'd like to start off today's post with something of a bow to Tim Burton. He's managed to be unique and creative despite the decadent film industry, and automatically earns my highest respect.

Now, as you no doubt have guessed, this post is about his Alice in Wonderland. It is, but I'd like to make a correction to the title before we move on. You see, after going through Mr. Burton's considerably advanced and unique process, the story in question is henceforth better named as Johny Depp In Wonderland.

That being said, let's move on with the review.

+ Awesome special effects. Cheshire was one of the best animated characters I've ever seen. Jabberwock was a little overdone, but overall, the special effects really were amazing.

+ Cool dialogue. I suppose that's a given when it comes to Alice, but I gotta give 'em credit for that. But where are the riddles and the nonsense poems?

+ A good interpretation of wonderland. I'm sure we all pictured it differently, but that was a solid wonderland they made. Props for the red castle.

- Johny Depp. Look, I know you sleep with Tim on a regular basis. I get that, sex is fun. That does *not* give you the right to steal the spotlight from the main character, Alice. You are meant to appear in one scene, and kindly GTFO.

- A terrible, terrible interpretation of the storyline. Trying to compound two monolithic books into a film was a bad, bad idea, and it shows. This still remains the best Alice interpretation ever. Tim should have done a movie of that, would've suited him better.

- The beginning and the ending sequences. They deserve a special mention, they were... terrible. I facepalmed through the first and last 15 minutes of the show.

- The Mad Hatter, and the rest of the wonderland crew. Th'fuck? RAVENRAVENRAVENRAVEN WRITINGDESKWRITINGDESKWRITINGDESKWRITINGDESK LOLOLOLOL IMSORANDOM. They took one throw-away gimmick and turned the whole thing into a pile of shit. The hatter is a minor character. Where the fuck is Bill? Why is Cheshire cursed with so little stage time? Where are the kings?

- 3-D. Why did they even bother, I cannot imagine. At one point, I took of the silly glasses and watched the damn thing without injuring my nose. The new trend of adding 3-D to everything feels like a huge waste of producer money.

- Correct me if I'm wrong here, but the dragon is called Jabberwock, not Jabberwocky. Jabberwocky is the name of the nonsensical poem (which somehow got left out magically) in which Jabberwock is mentioned.

Overall, I found the whole movie a pile of garbage with a lot of awesome visual effects thrown in. Here's a hint, producers: Visual effects, big celebrity names and Tim Burton does not salvage a butchered storyline, screwy character line-up and Johny Depp being horrible. Sadly, after mixing all that together, you end up with another Hollywood blockbuster aimed at the blubbering masses. Go to it with your girlfriend or something, at the very least you can tongue away the boredom and the facepalm at both ends of the film. I tried to tongue the man next to me but his resistance made me hard and I accidentally the whole cinema.

Assassin

 * No changes for Assassins.

Dervish

 * : now removes an enchantment with every attack.
 * Attack skill, attack. What's the difference when you have WS on your bar? 


 * ,, and now deal their damage when removed.
 * Whatever. hurr hurr, very funny, PBAOE spikes will ruin the game :(

Elementalist

 * Added friendly fire to all Elementalist area-of-effect attacks.
 * Don't even fucking joke about that. I've been screaming for a friendly fire mechanic for so long, and my cries always go unheard except in joke updates. 


 * Conjures now work regardless of the weapon's elemental mod and can stack.
 * So fucking what? It's still three attribute lines. 


 * ,, , and now affect foes within radar range.
 * This would be funny to see, especially with friendly fire. Pls do. Also, on another note, rodgort originally did hit radar range. 

Mesmer

 * : added the following functionality: "You have +10 to your Politics and Reporting attributes."
 * HERP


 * : spell duration is now infinite; effect on target foe is increased to 120 seconds.
 * DERP


 * : now deals 5...40 damage for each title track the target foe has maxed.
 * HURRR


 * : changed functionality to: "While you have this skill equipped, pick-up groups must let you join."
 * DURRR

Monk

 * (PvP): increased casting time to 60 seconds. If this spell completes, the match ends in a draw.
 * Good change tbh.

Necromancer

 * All vampiric skills, when equipped, now cause your character to sparkle in sunlight.
 * YES. YES. YES. DO THIS PLEASE. 

Ranger

 * When using a pet skill, your character will now shout out what skill the pet should use. For example, if your pet is named Moachu, and you use Bestial Pounce, your character will shout, "Moachu! Use Bestial Pounce!"
 * See, you waste time with viral bullshit, and then you come up with a really, really cool idea and then shit it out in a pathetic joke no one will ever remember. 

Warrior

 * : added the following functionality: "Every zig takes off."
 * I actually did lol. 

I suppose it was a good update overall, the puns aside. Really, fertile season? Healing signet? Bleh. Be moar creative the next time around, and be less wasteful with the cool ideas.