Guild:Arch Heretics



Arch Heretics [Next]
 We are a Guild formed with the intention of enjoying the wonderous & beautiful world of GW. We necessarily pursue the path of least game-stress.

 History
 [Next] was formed on Valentine's Day of 2011. It is the product of three friends & fate:

PETER'S STORY: Arch Heretics is the brain child of Cyber-Jedi Peter Mong (along with his two sidekicks Dolan & Joe). Peter's vision was to form a guild that would be a haven from the tyranny of idiots. It began on a stormy night, when joining a spur-of-the-moment party formation, an "Ebert" (see the section: Dislikes) on the team requested Peter's build. Upon receiving it, Peter was told his build wasn't good enough and that he should improve it or leave the party.

JOE'S STORY: Leaving that party, Peter found Joe drowning his sorrows in a bottle of Diet Coke. Apparently some married woman in his alliance wanted to send pictures of herself to his cell phone on Christmas Eve (he ended up leaving his guild over it - but we're still not sure if it was because she was married, it was Christmas Eve, or because he has no cell phone). He deleted all his characters over the matter (he's like a strict Catholic or somethin). You can tell Joe's characters by their latin names (how goober is that?).

DOLAN'S STORY: Dolan on the other hand was blackmailed into joining and doing the computer stuff for the guild and that's why he's here (it's a long story involving a bowl of jell-o and a hot summer night that will never get published if Peter & Joe stay satisfied with his computer work and Guild performance). Like P & J know what they're doing: Peter starts the Guild but one of Joe's chars is the Guild leader... go figure. BTW, if you need to get in touch with Dolan - don't. Bug Peter and see if weasle-boy says why he isn't leading his own guild.

To this end we submit our ideas of a better gaming experience.

 Likes
 • Having fun. Seriously, we're not curing cancer or anything - unless Red Dots have cancer. In which case I'd say we're curing their cancer pretty darn good... and I suppose any other problems they're ever going to have.

• Sharing knowledge (good builds, strategies, etc.) and game theory. For example, if you're new - any profession should have Monk as a secondary as they have the best skills to quickly keep you alive. If Monk is your primary then Necromancer or Ranger should be you secondary, why?: tanks. You can make minions and heal them (or your pet) while they go to work. When you get further in the game you can change your secondary at will. See? Wasn't that fun?

• Eliminating Red Dots (especially the ones with cancer). We think of it like this: us players are the reason GW has life. A red dot, then, is an NPC who has appropriated a "digital-life" without our permission. We therefore, as a matter of duty, confiscate this property of life back from any and all red-dots.

• NOT blackmailing people - we really really like that one!

• Helping each other (hard mode, zaishen anythings, etc.)

• Doing Pre-Searing Temple runs at level 19 with a level 19 imp. As Joe always says: "There's no kill like overkill."

 • Using Skype. Do yourself a favor - it's free, it's easy, you can have multiple people on simultaneously, you don't have to press any buttons to speak, no freakish tech-monkey settings to tinker with; it's like biting into a fresh jelly doughnut. Unless you're Joe, then it would be like biting into a fresh, sugar-free, low-carb, sponge-like doughnut substitute. (Man, I really feel bad for diabetics)

• Meeting other players that are cool.

• Probably everythings else most of you find cool. Unless your idea of cool is using ice cubes to cool off really hot soup - you're on your own with that one. I don't care if one of the founding members does do it - that's just weird (and don't go preaching to me about jell-o either). I mean, have you never heard of "blowing"? You put your lips close together and force air quickly through the opening - it takes the heat from the hot surface. Who the heck wants melted ice cubes in their soup?

 Dislikes
 • Obsessive title-chasing: we got nothing against having titles, we just believe titles are an aspect of Guild Wars and not the other way around.

• Commando-styled speed-clearing: again, nothing against the gesture, it's more the intolerant, high-octane apporach some players bring that ruin it for everyone else.

• Getting blackmailed; we don't approve of that here and would certainly never START a guild extorting 1/3 the founding members.

• Eberts: as stated above, Eberts demand you ping your build to them for their scrutiny & approval as they believe they are the only ones who know how to play GW.

• Wet-bankeys: this is our "polite" way of referring to someone who wants nothing but hand-outs. Far from the regular person who asks for help when they need it, Wet-bankeys require the whole guild to breastfeed them through each and every process, each and every time. The Wet-bankey motto is: "Why suck the life out of one player when a whole alliance will do?"

• White-storming: this is a contemptible style of playing in which a strong player rushes weaker / newer team members through an area or quest with the intention of going back at a later point to collect any expired drops for other players not picked up due to pace.

• Bigotry: a bigot is someone stubbornly -and usually spitefully- devoted to their opinions and confuses them with fact.

• Condescension: at some point we too were clueless, to hold that state against someone else is a mentality (as are the ones listed above) not welcome amongst Arch Heretics.

 Recruitment
 As we Heretics are working out our Guild structure as we go along, we are more interested in meeting & playing rather than recruiting for the moment.

 Guild Hall
 Our Guild Hall is fully stocked. A special thanks to Iris Dye who volunteered - of their own accord - 10,000 gold pieces to aid in the stocking of our Guild Hall; our Weaponsmith owes his existence to you Iris Dye.

<font color=#FFFFFF> Joe's Corner
<font color=#F6EA8F> OK, Joe is a strange guy with wierd ideas and he's asked that we post one of them so here it is.

<font color=#33FFFF> "I think Charr runs in the Northlands would be more fun if, after you kill a group of Charr, their wives and children come running out screaming and crying. Then you could use a skill called 'Papa Minion' which produces a level 28 bone horror identical to the deceased charr-father, and all it does is hunt down and kill the now horrified family who flee in vain.  If you want to make things more interesting, you could use another skill called 'Speed Fam' which increases their running speed by 33% - it just makes the fun last that much longer."

<font color=#F6EA8F> ...see what I mean?

<font color=#FFFFFF> Guild Events
<font color=#F6EA8F> Submissions for the fall contest will be between Sept 1st - 16th, with winners being announced the first day of Fall, Friday Sept 23rd. So why wait for the last minute?

<font color=#FFFFFF> Alliance
<font color=#F6EA8F> All allied relationships are currently under construction.

Update: 6.19.2011 Arch Heretics officially sided with the Luxon Faction. We apologize to all cuurently Kurzick now previously potential allies - we can't be together, but we can still be friends. [See what you women sound like?]

<font color=#FFFFFF> In-Game Contacts
<font color=#F6EA8F> Guild Leader Gratsia Plaena

Core Players Odd Jam Leper Moon Karma Muse Coffin Worm Benedicta Tu Dominus Taequm Back Alley Special

<font color=#FFFFFF> Contact Information
<font color=#F6EA8F> A dedicated forum-based website is in the works. Until then, you can contact Peter at mong.heretic@gmail.com