User:Titani Ertan/Quote
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Zim: Has anyone ever escaped?
Sgt. Shriver: The only one that has escaped, never got out.
Zim: Eh?
Sgt. Shriver: Yeah
Sgt. Shriver: He caught me sleeping during my shift. When you break the rules, Rankle sends you here. Every couple a days, he takes someone away. They never come back. Some say he just lets 'em go. Me? I say he takes them and turn 'em into horrible zombie soldiers in that new zombie lab they just put in out back.
Slab Rankle: Oh, it's not that simple my friend... Slab Rankle is not that easy to pull it over in defeat! Because Slab...and Rankle and, and Slab and... TIME FOR ZOMBIES!
Zim: WHY IS THERE BACON IN THE SOAP!?
G.I.R.: I made it myself!!!
Zim: But... invader's blood marches through my veins, like giant RADIOACTIVE RUBBER PANTS! The pants command me. Do not ignore my veins!
Zim: Computer, give me all the information you have on the FBI.
Computer (base): The FBI is a government law enforcement agency.
Zim: Continue.
Base: Insufficient data.
Zim: 'Insufficient data'? Can't you just make an educated guess?
Base: O... kay... Um, founded in 1492 by, uh... demons, the FBI is a crack law enforcement agency designed to... uh, I dunno, fight... aliens?
Zim: I KNEW IT!
Mrs Bitters: Today class, you will be examed on how to skin a moose. *sniffs around*
Child: Uggghhh... Mrs Bitters,, I think there is a skinned moose in the class...
Mrs Bitters: You! *points*, you stink. Go roll around in the toilet until you smell better!
Dib: But... I'll smell like toilet. And Willy was the last one to use it...
Zim: You're nothing earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!
Dib: You can't make me look! I'll just shut my eyes.
Zim: Oh, you'll open them. You have to breath sometime.
Dib: No, I - Wait... What do eyes have to do with breathing?
Zim: What are you watching?
G.I.R.: Angry monkey.
Zim: That horrible monkey!
G.I.R.: Mmhmm.
The Letter M: What's wrong with you? All you talk about is aliens and ghosts and seeing Bigfoot in your garage!
Dib: He was using the belt sander...
Dib: [gasping] Sorry I'm late... horrible... nightmare visions!
Mrs Bitters: It's called life, Dib. Now, sit down.
Mrs Bitters: Children, your performance was miserable. Your parents will all receive phone calls instructing them to love you less now.
Zim: [over video link] Soon Dib, I'll bring the Tallest here to witness my ingenius evil! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! HAAH! I said evil! AHAHAHAA!
Dib: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Doctor Membrane: [from basement] Son, there'd better not be any walking dead up there!
Dib: It's nothing to worry about, Dad! And I said I was sorry about that!
Zim: "My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Taaaaaaallist! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? It's me! My Tallest? My Tallest!"
The Allmighty Tallest Red: I was waiting to see when you would shut up on your own Zim, but it's been three hours. THREE HOURS! What do you want?
Zim: Well, I noticed you're moving closer to the Earth than ever before!
The Allmighty Tallest Red: How would you know that?
Zim: Oh I know all kinds of things about you. Pretty creepy, huh? Anyhow, I was...
The Allmighty Tallest Purple: Hey!... That is creepy! You're creepy.
Zim: Ha! Watch Dib! Watch as I bring a royal audience to the downfall of the human race!
Dib: I don't wanna watch that.
Zim: Oh. Ok... WAIT! THAT'S TOO BAD!
Dib: Mrs.Bitters, I think a pencil is lodged in my brain. Can I go to the nurse?
Mrs. Bitters: How far in your brain?
Dib: [looks at nose] Pretty far.
Zim: Shut your noise tube, Taco Human!
Tak: The great thing about your people [humans] is that, most of them don't notice. All they see is another faceless corporate venture! Not a plan for world conquest!
Dib: Wait, is there really a difference?
G.I.R.:Hi floor! Make me a sandwich!
Zim:You dare agree with me? Prepare to meet your horrible doom!
Nik: Hey look, there's a binary system. Ever been to a binary system before?
Oog-Ah: Mmm...
Nik: Would it... would it kill you to say something?
Oog-Ah: Quiet or I'll eat your head. That enough words for you?
Nik: I... I was just making conversation...
Zim: Is that Irken equipment you're using? That's Tak's ship you're sitting in, isn't it?
Dib: Yes it is, Zim! It fell fro...
Zim: Isn't it!?
Dib: I said it was! Man, Zim, you have a problem with listening.
Zim: ISN'T IT!!??
Dib: [to giant, demonic Pig guards] Hey! Look! There's something a Pig thing would like!!!
G.I.R.: GIR, reporting for duty.
Zim: GIR? What does the G stand for?
G.I.R.: I don't know. [begins screaming and hitting himself]
Zim: Ummm...is it supposed to be stupid?
The Allmighty Tallest Purple: It's not stupid, it's advanced!
Zim: Be alert GIR. On this planet, we are surrounded by danger and MADNESS!
G.I.R.: Ooh I like madness!
Zim: I'm looking for a friend. Would you be-
Dirge: I was born with webbed fish toes. Like some kind of...horrible fish boy. Wanna see?
Zim: What are you doing, GIR?
G.I.R.: Nothing...
Zim: Nothing... or something?
G.I.R.: Oh, I can't take it, you're too smart for me. Keef is planning a s'prise party for you after skool. He gonna bring all the kids because he loves you! [crying] That boy loves you so much! [happy] I'm makin' the cake!
Zim: He's bringing all the children here? Do you realize what this means?
GIR: Yes! Wait a minute...no.
Zim: It means the mission is in jeopardy!
GIR: Aw man! [hums happily]
[Zim is talking with the Tallest via a large monitor]
Zim: Sirs! I apologize for not reporting in, but— excuse me.
[Zim sprays some germs offscreen]
Zim: ...all is going well, nothing too big to report, aside to the usual- OH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT ONE!!
[Zim sprays again and empties it]
Zim: The disinfectant, it's almost gone! All hope is lost if I don't find more! Clever! I won't give up! I'll destroy you! And you! And you! And yoooouuu!
[Zim cuts the transmission]
Tallest Purple: Did that scare you too?
[Tallest Red nods]
Zim: GIR! I've been captured!
G.I.R.: YAY!
Zim: No, that's bad GIR!
G.I.R.: YAY!
Desmond Flapp: You're the one we've been waiting for! The one foretold in the prophecies, told by...Frank!
Frank: Yup. Told you he'd come.
[Zim, piloting his Voot Cruiser, scares a police officer driving his car, causing him fall from a bridge onto a weenie restaurant]
Zim: Human law enforcing machine. Markings: Lighty flashy things on top. Defensive capability: minimal.
[The police car explodes]
Zim: Explodes on impact with giant weenie. Evaluation: Pathetic! Pathetic Earth vehicle!
Gaz: That was your fate of the world work?! Jumping in a puddle?! You do realize I have to destroy you now.
Dib: It was worth it. Score 1 for the human race, score NOTHING for the Zim...thingy...race.
Gaz: I will destroy you.
Dib: What does identifying blotches have to do with finding our careers?
Ms. Bitters: Oh, you poor doomed child.
Exam Robot: 94.1%. Your score is...acceptable! Congratulations!
[The robot plays a tiny fanfare and shoots confetti]
Dib: Okay, that was annoying...
Dib: Cyb-arachno-rama? Spider Robots? Do spiders have robots?
Zim: My business... is done!
Dib: Who takes three hours to go to the bathroom before lunch, Zim?
Zim: Nonsense! I had much to do. So much!
Zim: I will leave you to your...
G.I.R.: [whispering to Zim] Moosey fate!
Zim: Eh...
G.I.R.: [whispering] Say moosey fate!
Zim: ...Your moosey fate!
G.I.R.:YAAAYYY!!!
Krazy Taco Mascot: So take it from me, the Krazy Taco! You won't find a crazier taco then the ones you'll find at the Krazy Taco! Remember, our Drive-Thru's open the whole niiight! Sweet jumpin' chili bean, I'm CRAZY!!
G.I.R.: Must obey the taco man!
Zim: Behold! A hunter destroyer ma-
G.I.R.: What is it?
Zim: A hunter destroy-
G.I.R.: What is it?!
Zim: ...A hunter destroyer machine.
G.I.R.: Wait...if you destroyed Dib in the past, then he won't ever be your enemy, then you won't have to send a robot back to destroy him and then he will be your enemy, so then you will have to send a robot back... [GIR's head explodes]
Dib: You can hide, Zim, but you can't...hide!
G.I.R.: WHY MY PIGGY?! WHY?! I LOVED YOU PIGGY! I'VE BEEN LOVING YOUUUUU!!
Dib: The pig...it haunts me...
Zim: The Earth is safe! I did it, GIR! Now let's go destroy it!
G.I.R.: Yay!
G.I.R.: Tell me a story about giant pigs!
Zim: My security system is perfect!! Perfect!!!
[Bloaty's Pizza Delievery Guy come to the door, rings doorbell, G.I.R. answers]
Pizza Delievery Guy: Here's the pizza you ordered!
G.I.R.: Thank you. [starts crying] I-I love you.
Zim: I am the neighborhood baby inspector. I have come to inspect the baby.
Mother: Oh, goodness! Inspect him for what?
Zim: Your resistance will be noted!
Zim: You can't escape by teleporter, little Gaz. I cut the power! Your pitiful attempt to escape is nothing but a PITIFUL FAILURE! Stupid, stinking humans!
Gaz: Doesn't this spaceship have any escape pods?
Zim: Of course; they're right over there [points]. Stupid, stinking humans.
Dib: Deep down I'm bologna?
Zim: ...Yes.
Dib: That's just dumb.
Zim: Dumb like a moose, Dib, dumb like a moose!
Gaz: That Game Slave is rightfully mine. I'll buy it from you, but there's no way you're keeping it. Not without invoking my wrath anyhow.
Iggins: You know, you need help
Rat mutant: I used to be a man...
Dib: But you're a woman!
Zita: Ms. Bitters!
Ms. Bitters: [is startled into waking from a brief snooze in her desk chair] Yes, Zita?
Zita: I think Dib seems crazier than normal today. Can we use one of the crazy cards to send him to the crazy house for boys?
Ms. Bitters: Each class only gets three cards a month. Are you sure you want to use one?
[Everyone looks at Dib who is screaming and falls to the floor.]
Zita: Yeah...
Zim: Curse yoooouuuu! Wait- I can still do stuff to your legs, right?
Dib: I guess, but- wait! No!
Zim: Curse yoooouuuu!
[A mystic escape portal is in Dib's own forehead]
Zim: There! That should be wide enough.
Dib: What about me? How do I get back?
Zim: Good question! ...But I don't care!
Host: I've come to the conclusion that Dib is crazy. [to G.I.R.] This one, definitely crazy. I feel sorry for the ugly green kid, but there's a good chance he's crazy too!
Zim: But not an alien?
Host: Nope.
Zim: Okay.
Host: Just crazy.
[Dib's future self concludes a lengthy explanation as to how he's in the past]
Future Dib: ...so, it's up to you now.
Dib: Wow. I'm boring! Do I always explain everything like this?
G.I.R.: YAY, I'M GONNA BE SICK! [throws up on Zim]
Zim: Who are you!?
Poop Dog: I am-
Zim: Who are you!?
Poop Dog: I am-
Zim: Who are you!?
Doot: I wanna rent this one!
Video Store Clerk: Why!?! So you can keep it for weeks and weeks and not return it? What about all the other people that wanna watch it?! You ever think about them? Huh? HUH??
[Doot begins to cry]
Janitor: I believe you. I think I can help you.
Dib: What are you gonna do? Clean me?
Hologram: My people worked themselves into extinction making our planet a working vessel!
Zim: Why would you do that?
Hologram: Because it's cool.
GIR: [nods] Mmmhmm.
Blue-eyed Alien: You have fallen for our clever trap!
Green-eyed Alien: He sure did pa!
Zim: You threw me in a sack!
Green-eyed Alien: We will begin by fusing you to this other human.
Zim: That's no human, that's a gopher!
Blue-eyed Alien: Silence! Let the hideous experiments begin! [puts Zim on an operation table and brings the "human". Green-eyed wipes the sweat from Blue-eye]
Blue-eyed Alien: Here it goes!! [sticks gopher to Zim with duct tape]
Blue-eyed Alien: Fusion completed!!
Tallest Red: So, you're saying the humans are dumb, yet...tall. How is that even possible? How can anything tall be dumb?
Tallest Purple: [with his mouth full] Yeah, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can you imagine, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can you?
Maria: Don't say that name 'round here! He is the demon beast! We've lost three chicken cookers since he come around!
Dib: Chickenfoot ate them?
Maria: No, they got better jobs...but I hate that chicken beast! Get out! Get out now! Before you get a better job too!
Eric: The Chicky meal! It comes with a dirty chicken toy! The head comes off and can be used like a little grappling hook.
Dib: That's a...weird thing for a chicken to do.
Dib: Chickenfoot, come back! You're not a freak, you're just stupid!
Tallest Purple: Malfunctioning SIR Units! Hey! These things are dangerous! Anyone using these things could really get hurt! Send them to Zim.
Tallest Red: [gasps] But they'll destroy him!
[The Allmighty Tallest Ones burst laughing]
Tallest Purple: Ah, let's go eat food.
Zim: You're after revenge?!
Tak: NO! It's not about revenge! It's about taking what's rightfully mine. I should have been an invader! I should have been part of the Great Assigning! I shouldn't have to be stealing this planet from YOU!
Zim:YOU'RE AFTER MY ROBOT BEE!!
Zim: [eating cafeteria food, gags] It's delicious! It's delicious! I AM NORMAL!!
Tak: Part one of the plan is to destroy your base, so you can just watch as I take over your mission!
[Mimi shoots some sort of flies that eat Zim's base]
Zim: NOO!!! MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!!
Tak: Part two is-
Zim: MY BEAUTIFUL BASE!!!
Tak: Part two-
Zim: NOO!!!!
Tak: Part-
Zim: NOOO!!!!!!!!
Tak: Come on Mimi, we're leaving.
Zim: NOO- Wait, you were about to tell me your plan.
[after Tak and Mimi's department, Zim's robot bee flies after them]
Zim: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Dib throws a muffin at Zim's head]
Zim: What?! WHO?! Who dares to soil my normal boy head with this PORK COW?!
Poonchy: [pause] That's a stinking muffin!
Zim: SILENCE!!! Sleep well, as this shall be your last peaceful sleep, FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!
Poonchy: But we're not sleeping right now!
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Eric: O.K., we are freaked out about something Kelso said! Kelso, the who can't understand how hot dogs survive in the wild without eyes!
Jackie: How could you get a promotion? All you do is sit around, paint your nails and make sarcastic comments!
Angie: Jackie, you do that.
Jackie: And it's annoying, isn't it?
Jackie: You need to break up with her in a gentle, mature and respectful way.
Micheal (Kelso): I think I'm gonna sleep with her best friend.
[some time later...]
Micheal: There is a problem with the "sleep with her best friend" plan. [Steven] Hyde is her best friend.
Fez: You know what we have to do in here? The "Dark Room Switch": You will make love with her in a dark room. In the middle of the act, you will excuse yourself. I will come, pretend to be you, and finish the job.
Micheal: How will it solve my problem?
Fez: I was looking for an answer to my problem.
Eric: [coming into the room after telling Duna he is leaving to Africa] Duna is still mad about the whole Africa thing, she won't call me back.
Fez: I have a soloution. The "Dark Room Switch".
Eric: Hmm, what do I have that's worth money? Oh, I know! Duna, I can sell our engagement ring!
Fez: She is going to kill him!!
Kelso: Fez, get out of the swing zone!
Hyde: I put 10$ on the girl! And I mean Duna.
Duna: Eric, I don't have that ring. I threw it off the water tower after you you didn't show to the wedding.
Eric: What? Duna, that ring is the symbol of our eternal love for each other!
Hyde: You were going to sell it to fund a year of boozing and napping.
Eric: Good point. Who is wrong here?
Hyde: I think there is something wrong with all of us.
Red: No one told me about the three rings [in marriage]: there is the Engagement Ring, the Marriage Ring and the SuffeRing.
Viking Lodge Dude #1: The other day, my wife asked me if I like myself better when I'm drunk, and I said "No, I like you better!"
Fez: Christine St. George, you are the Beau in Beautiful and the Sas in Sassy. What else can I say? I like a big tipper!
Christine St. George: And what can I say? I enjoy a big kiss-ass!
Kitty: So, Steven, how was in the Viking Lodge?
(Steven) Hyde: Ugh, don't get me started on the hounds...
Samantha: "The hounds" are an old man's testicles!
Hyde: *looking for keys* Fez, have you seen my store keys?
Fez: Oh, here they are *pulls them out of his back pocket* But I still didn't make a copy.
Hyde: Why would you make a copy?
Fez: Why would I take your keys?
Hyde: To... make a copy?
Fez: Why would I make a copy?
Hyde: Now that you two are here, what country are you from?
Fez's friend [forgot his name]: That depends if you ask the British or the Dutch.
Randy: If we ask the British?
Fez's friend: Oh, they hate us. They'll never tell you!
Hyde: Ok, and what if we ask the Dutch?
Fez: Who knows? You don't know what the hell they're saying!
My own[edit]
claps
punches
dodge
curses
Hex Breaker
Ball Breaker
Shielding Hands
*talking with my friend while our dogs play around*
Eric: Your dog is very cute. She has some sort of heart shaped head, and she seems so gentle.
Me: She turns into a gremlin after 12:00.
Donna: Are you laughing at me!?
Me: Always, but not right now.
Donna: I like cookies.
Me: I like bunny dumplings.
Donna: Bunny cookies are so much better than bunny dumplings!
Me: You never tried a well made bunny dumpling, then. Come to my place and I will make you some.
Donna: Are you hitting on me?
Me. No, I was just staring at your chest.
Donna: Cool. I was staring at yours too. [pause] Wanna make out?
Me: No thank you. I'm saving myself for chests.
Donna: Do you love me?
Me: *thinking* Hmm, should I fake chest pains? Nah, won't work. *narrows eyes* She's looking. Say something, anything!
Me: Hey look, a monkey!
Donna: Don't fake chest pains!! [to be fair, Donna was my girlfriend when I was 21.]
Donna: If we ever get married, will you treat me well when I grow old?
Me: Yep.
Donna: Even when my skin starts to dry out and gets chalked?
Me: Sure, why not.
Donna: Even when my breast gets saggy, and my bones will be too fragile to have sex?
Me: I feel a need to break up with you.
Donna: That makes the 2 of us! [we didn't break up then; but we didn't get married, either. Such a long time passed...]
Me: What happened? Why are you so grumpy?
Lisa: I had a dream, and you were in it.
Me: That's why you're grumpy? What did I do?
Lisa: You should know!!!!
Lisa: Hi.
Me: Hi
Lisa: Bye.
Me: Bye [this was my 2nd most useless conversation; the 1st one was about whether flying pigs taste well as flying hotdogs]
Lisa: We all love you!
Me: I hate you all. Ohhh! Cookies!
Me: I wonder. If I had Sword-Arms, how will I zip and unzip my pants?
Blaze: you'd get a maid? a hot one, too
Me: The good kind of maid?
Blaze: Eva Angelina kind of maid
Me: Megan Fox mabe?
Blaze: no. eva.
Me: She's fucking hot, dude. I almost heard slaps in the Transformers movies.
Blaze: tho, why not both?
Me: *bows* You're a genius.
Death Predictor: At age 53 a group of friends will urge you to test the "Don't Wizz on the Electric Fence" myth, and you discover that it can kill. [only 22 years! I can't wait!]
