User talk:98.238.169.189

→ moved from Talk:Game updates/20090423‎

..fails badly, encourages grinding, makes Anet look like a Korean cash shop MMO and goes against basic philosophy of Build Wars

NOTE: This is a parody and does not reflect the views or opinions of Anet or NCSoft.

Fourth Anniversary Update: Grind Wars, More Korean Cash Shop MMO, Less Skill, No Balancing, and a Bad Update

Our goal for the Fourth Anniversary Update is not to deepen and enhance replayability of the game with a variety of features aimed at satisfying the full spectrum of Guild Wars players, seeing as we have failed to BALANCE THE GAME. For example, we wanted to give new purpose and rewards to existing recycle content with grind, so we added a new system of making random quests that our competitors have been doing for ages and the Traveler to encourage players to experience the different types of available content in a whole new light. grind even more in a failed MMO. We've also designed an elaborate unlocking system for every pet in the game, making it possible for you to accumulate unlocked pets and swap them out for different builds and gameplay types. As the demand on inventory space increases with all the new content being added to the game since our last storage update, we have increased your storage potential with the creation of Equipment Packs and additional Xunlai Storage panes available in the In-Game and NCsoft Stores Gpotato Cash Shop. In the same vein, the Hall of Monuments has been made account-based to make grinding even more fun.. As you play these characters more and more, you might be looking for a way to freshen up their look beyond just getting a new set of armor game that doesn't suck badly and try to squeeze every penny out of you, so we did nothing to address the horrible state of the game. These Credits are redeemable at the official Gpotato web site who deepens your ability to play Fly For Fun by allowing you to mix your internet connection with every other dissatisfied player and lag out.

The Live Team has been working nonstop to make these new features a reality make a completely irritating outdoor interface for the pet menagerie instead of a simple menu in one NPC, and we're incredibly happy to finally reveal that we are not going to fix the game. Instead of releasing a typical Developer Update article because it will just get translated, we're explaining all the exciting exhausted old content in a series of detailed gameplay web pages. You can find the links to those pages in the update notes below, as well as a summary of each updated game feature.

Read on for more information! [edit]

Equipment Pack

Each character has been given a 5th bag slot reserved for the Equipment Pack. These new bags will save you oodles of storage space and give you a way to keep your weapons and armor divided from your other loot. These bags:

• Hold only weapons and armor.
• Come in four sizes:
  • 5-slot "Casual Player" bags are available in Pre-Searing Ascalon in exchange for a treat for Professor Yakkington, for a nominal fee of gold at various merchants across all campaigns, or for Zaishen Coins at a new Zaishen Rewards NPC in Great Temple of Balthazar.
  • 10 "Weekend Grind", 15 "Hardcore Grind", and 20-slot "Uber Champion of the Grinding Universe" Zaishen bags are available in Zaishen exchange for Zaishen Coins at a Zaishen Rewards Zaishen NPC in the Zaishen Great Zaishen Temple of Zaishen Balthazar.

See the gameplay article for more details.

Xunlai Storage

To provide you with access to even more storage space, Xunlai Storage Panes are now available for purchase in the In-Game Store and the NCsoft Store. we are encouraging you to buy additional character slots.

• Xunlai Storage Panes each add an additional 20 slots of storage space to your Xunlai Chest. These panes can be used by any character on your account that has access to your storage chest.
• You can now purchase up to 4 additional panes of storage from the Gpotato or Aeria.

Zaishen Challenge Quests

Every day, we challenge you with different objectives from all over the world to reward players who bought all campaigns. If you didn't, screw you. You contribute nothing and we don't care. Each day, these quests have you play in an unreasonably stupidly designed area for each of the three formats of your hard drive. We believe this will encourage players to quit the game already to save us money. Zaishen Challenge Quests have a variety of rewards, including the new DragonZaishen Coins, a new form of currency that Artix, the makers of Adventure Quest(a game that is more balanced than ours) introduced us to.

• Pick up your Zaishen Challenge Quests in the Great Temple of Balthazar.
• Press "L" to look at your quests.
• Ragequit and dump the quests in frustration, then go to EB Games and get WoW.

• Zaishen Coins:
  • Come in Grindfest, Weekend Grind, and No Life denominations.
  • Are a bad idea.

Don't like it? Don't play it. Stay on your side of the PvP Section of "Build Wars" and stop posting these "translations" if you aren't Shard. Which you obviously aren't.--98.238.169.189 05:11, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

I can't believe I started a wiki phenomenon that only unfunny people try to copy. ~Shard 05:18, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

Yes but it was funny the time you did it now its just people trying to funny and failing Wild 05:20, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

Perhaps you should have done it then, Shard? ;p Healing Paradox 05:26, 24 April 2009 (UTC)

It turns out you need material to make a funny parody, and this update didn't provide much. ~Shard 08:56, 24 April 2009 (UTC)