User:John Stumme/Random Thoughts box
Coming up with Epic Rap Battles of Tyria has become a dalliance for when I have free time. (Har, free time.) Here's my latest completed one, Prince Rurik vs. Kilroy Stonekin.
Prince Rurik:
As a young boy, I spent much time in these lands...
Kilroy Stonekin:
I'm charging ahead, because I've got no time to waste!
I'm already at the finish line, and I'm laughing at your face
Or at least I would be…
If you hadn't lost your head.
You've been killed before,
And you can rest assured,
That my rhymes will knock you dead!
Prince Rurik:
Your rhymes, you say? Now that'd be a feat
Since every trick that you've ever learned, well, you got them all from me
I'm the original NPC that'll just run off,
I was training charr before you were even a thought
My legacy is everlasting,
You're just a fad that's passing.
You can't even hold a candle to my fame,
And no one will remember you,
No matter how many times you shout your name!
Kilroy Stonekin:
Your legacy? You're oblivious to the obvious, that ain't hard to see
You couldn't hope to match my moves if you couldn't outrun a tree
You brought your flaming sword, yeah, you swung it and you missed
Because now you're battling with a real man, and I solve things with MY FISTS!
You’re just a disappointment. You got knocked down ONCE and died
When I get knocked down, I get back up, and I brush it off in stride!
I've gotta shout my name, because DAMN it sounds so nice,
People gather from all around just to join ME in all my fights
So where are your people? Oh, that's right, you got disowned
You've got no prayer of winning, just like you've got no home!
Prince Rurik:
Those are pretty big words, from such a tiny, tiny man
But my raps are going to ruin you, worse than the charr ruined my homeland
You're pretty fond of running? Yeah, it's easy to see why
You're a running joke, run into the ground, from the day the laughter died
It's obvious that you've never stopped once to think a day in your whole life
If you had the prescience to do so, then you might realize you could NEVER win this fight
Lyrically you're waning while I'm waxing, and this is all about to end
There can be no doubt this was a vocal knockout, so farewell my mountain friend!
...who won?
