User talk:Dandy/Archive 7

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Existence is fucking awesome and so are a various selection of you people here too! This talk page is now about dissing religion and republicans/conservatives. And fun! Always fun.

Also; ""As you move closer to manhood, this little factory will sometimes produce an oversupply of this substance. The Lord has provided a way for that to be released. It will happen without any help or without any resistance from you. Perhaps, one night you will have a dream. In the course of it the release valve that controls the factory will open and release all that is excess.""

Healthy Mormon advise on your everyday habits related to the last section in my latest archive. Discuss, and laugh!

Wet dreams come from God so that.. Your balls won't explode? --DANDY ^_^ -- 13:16, 30 August 2010 (UTC)

Man, if this was true I would be pouring rivers every night. :> --Unending fear User Unendingfear Sig2.png 13:39, 30 August 2010 (UTC)
"For the most part, unless you tamper with it, you will hardly be aware that it is working at all."
"Do not be guilty of tampering or playing with this sacred power of creation. Keep it in reserve for the time when it can be righteously employed."
Artist rendering. Also, wow....just wow. Karate User Karate Jesus KJ for sig.png Jesus 15:35, 30 August 2010 (UTC)
User Karate Jesus obviously sleeping.png
Do not make fun of religious beliefs. It is inappropriate. Have a nice day.
Trolling. Cute. But seriously, if a religious belief stares at a cold-hard fact and is retarded, then I think it's safe to make fun of that specific belief. Adolescent males masturbate naturally as part of their hormone build up. It's a universally accepted fact that masturbation can actually be healthy for adolescents. Now, if they masturbate 3 times a day, or continue to frequently masturbate after exiting adolescence, then they probably have some developmental issues. However, shaming boys by telling them that it's ethically evil is just idiotic. And to claim that a creating God would design a young boy's body to act that way, and then demand that he leave his "sacred power of creation" alone is asinine. Karate User Karate Jesus KJ for sig.png Jesus 17:43, 30 August 2010 (UTC)
"if a religious belief stares at a cold-hard fact and is retarded, then I think it's safe to make fun of that specific belief"
KJ just justified all forms of blasphemy! Check out the last section in my latest archive, I was quite seriously guilt tripped back in my Mormon days! --DANDY ^_^ -- 19:10, 30 August 2010 (UTC)
Don't call me a troll Jon :<! Just because Chaos has some issues with his religionsexual life is overall awesome, don't gotta be jealous :<
My bad, iffy. I thought it was someone else <3 Karate User Karate Jesus KJ for sig.png Jesus 03:47, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
I heard they found a cure for cancer, iffy. dark chaos 06:43, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
Fucking hilarious :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD --DANDY ^_^ -- 11:00, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
Yo hey those times are past! ^___^ Dandy so totally not religion-problem-thing anymoree! I wouldn't mind if my parents saw the light, though, the amount of money they pay in tighting (10%) is ridiculous. And they'd save time and alala what else. Beyond the faint hope of getting to live a teenagers life ;p --DANDY ^_^ -- 11:00, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
Tithing, not tighting. Also, tithing should be 10% by definition. Misery 11:53, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
But tithing has always been a confusing term for Judeo-Christians (I'm including Mormons in that for the time being). Tithe, like Mis said, is by definition a 10th. However, the only biblical example of a 10th being given is when Abraham gave a 10th to Melchizedek, who later came to symbolize Christ in the early church. Every other example of giving to a church-like body in the Bible included giving anywhere from 3% to everything a person owned - most often the latter.
By the way, if I recall correctly, Mormon institutions typically require a 10% tithe. I think they're allowed to give more if they see fit, but the 10% is a requirement as part of their sanctification. Karate User Karate Jesus KJ for sig.png Jesus 13:51, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
In the same vein Zakāt, the Muslim pillar of alms-giving, is a set 2.5% of one's annual income. User Felix Omni Signature.pngelix Omni 13:55, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
But most Muslims give more. In Pakistan, they are required to give both Zakat and Ushr, which is like 7.5% of their total income when combined. Karate User Karate Jesus KJ for sig.png Jesus 14:06, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
I did use the word "should". Misery 14:06, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
Ye you pay brutto/netto depending on your "conscience", and then once a month you fast a sunday and can give the money you save doing that for charity purposes. Funny shit how the millions they get from tithings afaik aren't supposed to go to charity! I feel funny for today getting an "Ahaa!"-experience about the full irrationality of religious beliefs. --DANDY ^_^ -- 18:26, 31 August 2010 (UTC)
Thanks! Oh wow I've never related "tithe" to "tithing". --DANDY ^_^ -- 18:26, 31 August 2010 (UTC)

O watup dandybot

This is a section. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 4:03, 1 Sep 2010 (UTC)

Dandybot accompanied by a silly musical tune has been stuck in my head for weeks. @.@ --Unending fear User Unendingfear Sig2.png 05:03, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
Life of Dandy v.XYZ - More Interesting Turns. <3 Dandybot is eating rice crispies while secretly raging at "masochistic" emokids :> When not thinking about that, I'm thinking about how hilarious some various girls with their flirting are. I feel shallow, maybe I am! I also totally want the emokid's cute girl :< --DANDY ^_^ -- 06:36, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
You can have her. Challenge him to a joust, with horses and stuff! And put it on yootoob so I can see! — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 15:37, 1 Sep 2010 (UTC)
Ye but I also totally want this other cute girl and this third cute girl! I'm in the middle of evaluating! This cute redhead seems like the most valid pick, though, but I can't decide! FUCK THIS I'M GOING POLYGAMOUS. --DANDY ^_^ -- 18:39, 1 September 2010 (UTC)
My advice in that is to make all involved parties aware of this at the outset. This will probably save your life. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 21:58, 1 Sep 2010 (UTC)
I actually find it's best to keep them completely in the dark about each other. I've strung girls on for over a year before. User Felix Omni Signature.pngelix Omni 01:02, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
If girls are completely fine with you dating/marrying other girls, they have some serious issues and you probably don't want to be touching them with a ten foot pole. -Auron 01:05, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Auron, they could just be kinky. :> --Unending fear User Unendingfear Sig2.png 01:17, 2 September 2010 (UTC)-
Well I don't know about dating there. I tend to think of dating as a pre-relationship phase where you can see as many people as you want. User Felix Omni Signature.pngelix Omni 01:28, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Personally I find dating to be the worst form of meeting people ever. It feels semi-formal which is a terrible way of forming a contact with new people, and there's always the pressure of being interesting/interested. I prefer casual hanging out, say a "oi let's go to subway" and then you just see if things work out your way. Fine restaurants work if you make it seem like a funny idea, but the point is for things to seem like regular friendship to some point. Dandy's dating tips, and 3 girls + fanbois is obvious proof! ;3 --DANDY ^_^ -- 08:57, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Auron, that's much better than the alternative where they don't know and turn out to be homicidal upon finding out years later. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 4:17, 2 Sep 2010 (UTC)
They all know eachother. I couldn't hide it ;p --DANDY ^_^ -- 06:34, 2 September 2010 (UTC)

Life is like a penis

--DANDY ^_^ -- 19:45, 2 September 2010 (UTC)

Oh? ShadowRunner 19:46, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Shadow, this is the part where we make up metaphors. For example:
Life is like a penis. Sometimes it's hard, and sometimes things get hairy, but in the end we all just hope to come out on top. Karate User Karate Jesus KJ for sig.png Jesus 19:49, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Oh. Win :D ShadowRunner 19:50, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
I wanna take life for a ride then. D: --Unending fear User Unendingfear Sig2.png 21:13, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis. Life is hard, then you get a moment of sheer awesomeness then it's not so hard. ShadowRunner 21:27, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis: It sucks when it's short. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 21:34, 2 Sep 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis: It will fuck you at any given opportunity. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 21:37, 2 Sep 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis. If you try to keep it all in your grasp, you'll eventually lose it. Karate User Karate Jesus KJ for sig.png Jesus 21:40, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis: You make other peoples' harder, whether you try to or not. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 21:48, 2 Sep 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis, being average still sucks. :3 --Unending fear User Unendingfear Sig2.png 21:49, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis. It's awkward at first, but over time you learn to enjoy every minute. Karate User Karate Jesus KJ for sig.png Jesus 21:50, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis, it's fun to fuck with others'. :3 --Unending fear User Unendingfear Sig2.png 21:52, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis: Sometimes, it's best to lay back and enjoy the ride. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 21:54, 2 Sep 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis, if you get too big, you don't fit in anywhere. --Unending fear User Unendingfear Sig2.png 21:55, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis- I have huge amounts of both of them. User Felix Omni Signature.pngelix Omni 22:06, 2 September 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis: when you're bored, there's a strong electronic alternative. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 22:17, 2 Sep 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis: Always rise to the occasion----Xtreme 10:25, 3 September 2010 (UTC)
The point was actually to not make any metaphor, for some abstract and unexpected humour value. Some of those are pretty amazing though! --DANDY ^_^ -- 19:03, 3 September 2010 (UTC)
Life is like a penis: Just fuck it. |Cynn's Thong|User Cynn's Thong Sig.png 02:06, 5 September 2010 (UTC)
That's more like "Life's like a vagina". →[ »Halogod User Halogod35 Sig.png (talk ]← 02:20, 5 September 2010 (UTC)
Chauvinist pig ;< Your reasoning insults me, it works perfectly fine that way! Stupid virgins have never fucked a penis before! (Note the trail of thought.) --DANDY ^_^ -- 09:29, 5 September 2010 (UTC)

You guys are troubled. ~Shard User Shard Sig Icon.png 03:00, 5 September 2010 (UTC)

Joy Buzzer Device

They shall be referred to as such from this point forth. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 17:50, 3 Sep 2010 (UTC)

I come to think of Vuvuzelas. Bzzz! Beautiful mental image. --DANDY ^_^ -- 19:03, 3 September 2010 (UTC)

Quiz time!

The rules are simple, because they are non-existent. The questions will likely be unfair and impossible, or alternatively very obvious, as will the rewards be, provided that I bother with any. With the rules being what they are, I am likely to reward the justification rather than the correct answer. The questions will be kept up for a day or two or until I get bored with them. --DANDY ^_^ -- 15:16, 5 September 2010 (UTC)

Question #1: Which way does Dandy swing?

Moo. PS: Please remember reasoning! --DANDY ^_^ -- 15:16, 5 September 2010 (UTC)

Omnisexual. :D --Unending fear User Unendingfear Sig2.png 17:27, 5 September 2010 (UTC)
Your comment makes me think zoophilia. - Reanimated X 17:52, 5 September 2010 (UTC)
Clockwise north of the equator. User Felix Omni Signature.pngelix Omni 20:02, 5 September 2010 (UTC)
in a circular motion --dark chaos 19:31, 7 September 2010 (UTC)
Meatspin. →[ »Halogod User Halogod35 Sig.png (talk ]← 22:54, 7 September 2010 (UTC)
Bi, as per cute redhead & also that cute guy we were talking about. But you're still fabulous! — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 0:34, 8 Sep 2010 (UTC)
o.O Me? xD →[ »Halogod User Halogod35 Sig.png (talk ]← 00:42, 8 September 2010 (UTC)
I'm an omnisexual bisexual who meatspins in a circular motion clockwise north of the equator in front of fellow reindeer. That sounds about right. Jacob (UF) wins for quoting my own words, though, which is a rather strong reasoning, provided that I wasn't lying. You will never know!
I'll mail you the reward sometime when I have time, I'm @ school atm and have v little time at home. --DANDY ^_^ -- 08:06, 8 September 2010 (UTC) in he will try anything----Xtreme 12:39, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
On a roap like me!!!----Xtreme 12:40, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
Had you said that a little earlier you would totally have won. Even now I considered telling Jacob that there had been a terrible, terrible error in awarding the prize. '
Oh, and I got my lol of the day. Winning reference! --DANDY ^_^ -- 13:43, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

Question #2: What flavor is the candy I'm eating right now?

Since there is no way anyone could guess it, you just need to have the premise "He's Finnish, thus..", and give a concincing explanation of why your conclusion is logical! --DANDY ^_^ -- 08:06, 8 September 2010 (UTC)

He's Finnish, thus it taste like one who just finished. Semen flavored. Please share. :3 --Unending fear User Unendingfear Sig2.png 13:46, 8 September 2010 (UTC)
He's Finnish, thus FINISH HIM. This is a logical conclusion because the words are homophones, and you are a homosexual. User Felix Omni Signature.pngelix Omni 15:10, 8 September 2010 (UTC)
Coincidentally, my girlfriend was next to me when I read that, and we both had a good laugh :p --DANDY ^_^ -- 07:47, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
He's Finnish, thus shit flavored. That's all Finland is all about, crapping in people's mouths. →[ »Halogod User Halogod35 Sig.png (talk ]← 20:35, 8 September 2010 (UTC)
He's Finnish thus it's "salty" liquorish flavored candy since that is the closest to a legitimate shit tasting and shit colored candy. --Lania User Lania Elderfire pinkribbon.jpg 20:40, 08 September 2010 (UTC)
Holy shit, that's correct :p and also the only answer I could consider ^__^ In fact it's tar-flavored salmiakki (=salt liquorish). Terva Leijona sounds creepy then steals your woman with its awesomeness.
Oh and if Jacob wants to have some of my semen candy I really won't mind sharing. --DANDY ^_^ -- 07:47, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

Question #3: List as many objects as possible from my desk

I just opened my curtains. If you guess them all right, I'll begin stripping for you out there. --DANDY ^_^ -- 13:43, 16 September 2010 (UTC)

Computer. User Felix Omni Signature.pngelix Omni 13:55, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
Computer, industrial grade lubricant, 3 foot dildo, best of goats and woman magazine, 15 kebabs, and a stick. :o --Unending User Unendingfear Sig2.png fear 14:08, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
Finnish Office supplies----Xtreme 19:33, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
Good one. I'm still in college, though. --DANDY ^_^ -- 19:55, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
"Office supplies" (at least where I come from) includes such things as a computer, monitor, keyboard, printer, speakers, hand sanitizer, lined paper, headphones, phones, portable hard drives, various USB cables, pushpins, pencil sharpeners, pencils, pens, refills, post-its, tissues, and apparently gum. -- Armond WarbladeUser Armond sig image.png{{Bacon}} 15:25, 17 September 2010 (UTC)
Usually but this is "Finnish" Office supplies. I was also implying that Chaos Dan didn't have a job and should get one.----Xtreme 18:05, 17 September 2010 (UTC)
I actually shouldn't. I have very little time beside my studies, so exhausting myself even more by having a job (taking what little time for schoolwork I have) isn't good :p --DANDY ^_^ -- 12:43, 19 September 2010 (UTC)
Various half empty cans of various liquids, some of which may not necessarily be safe to drink. ShadowRunner 20:00, 16 September 2010 (UTC)
Your girlfriend. — Raine Valen User Raine R.gif 20:17, 16 Sep 2010 (UTC)
Me.--User Oneshot O.JPGneshot. 20:18, 16 Sep 2010 (UTC)
Stuff. - Mini Me 21:02, 16 September, 2010 (UTC)
Various crap; if your desk is anything like mine, you have a computer and accessories, a landline phone you never use, a "do these things" paper or two, receipts you can't get rid of because there's still 42 days left to return the computer accessories for store credit (and get something better!), lens cleaner, notes for stuff you should be reading for work, gum, post-its, and not a single fucking pen. -- Armond WarbladeUser Armond sig image.png{{Bacon}} 15:25, 17 September 2010 (UTC)
Very cute semi-serious answer, and even moreso cute because I don't think you got anyone of those right. Correct on the absence of pens, though! --DANDY ^_^ -- 12:43, 19 September 2010 (UTC)
Ant and Raine are both pretty close. Actually the only thing on my desk, beyond the obvious computer, is me having a shot at my girlfriend :o --DANDY ^_^ -- 12:43, 19 September 2010 (UTC)

Question #4: What the shit?

--DANDY ^_^ -- 17:11, 20 September 2010 (UTC)

U R...U R the shit----Xtreme 18:17, 20 September 2010 (UTC)
what is up with these questions? nvm quiz. also, x, you misred the question, it is not "what is the shit?" it is "what the shit?"
shit --dark chaos 20:42, 20 September 2010 (UTC)
"what is up with these questions?" is still a valid question :p but boredom is always a valid motive. --DANDY ^_^ -- 04:56, 21 September 2010 (UTC)
My computers are the shit. :P →[ »Halogod User Halogod35 Sig.png (talk ]← 03:44, 21 September 2010 (UTC)

Mild Warning

The names of your archive pages might be offensive to people who will soon be dead for having sex (or in the case of #7, people who already are). You should consider changing the names of your archives to more humorous diseases like Obesity or Elected Politician. ~Shard User Shard Sig Icon.png 03:53, 21 September 2010 (UTC)

Shard's got a point. :/ →[ »Halogod User Halogod35 Sig.png (talk ]← 03:54, 21 September 2010 (UTC)
If you don't want to die, don't have sex. Simple cause and effect. User Felix Omni Signature.pngelix Omni 04:48, 21 September 2010 (UTC)
I think someone renamed my archive to "Death", or then I just don't remember naming it myself. Thus I don't hold myself responsible for something I don't think I did! --DANDY ^_^ -- 04:56, 21 September 2010 (UTC)
If people are offended by those names, fuck them. :| (not literally :3) --Unending User Unendingfear Sig2.png fear 05:12, 21 September 2010 (UTC)
I am offended that you are impling that people have unprotected sex with multiple partners....that play GW!----Xtreme 10:10, 21 September 2010 (UTC)
IP strikes back. User Felix Omni Signature.pngelix Omni 13:32, 21 September 2010 (UTC)