User:Wendy Black/joke02

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Conversation with Lieutenant Langmar (Game AI) Vanguard Quests

Lieutenant Langmar, I am here to report that all 6 of the Necromacers are dead.

Yes, they were all walking around down there just as dead as can be...

What? I was suppose to kill them a second time?

Seems like overkill to me.

You know if we kill all the necromancers, there won't be any more walking around dead...

OK but have you really given any thought as to who is animating these dead necromancers?

I was down the in the well of souls and this emo boy by the name of Oberan,

who stares at a brick wall all day would be my guess.

I am just saying he is not the picture of mental health.

OK I am heading back to "rekill" the necromancers...

but mark my words, some day that Oberan will snap. Bye!

A dwarf was sitting beside the road crying. I asked him what happened.

He blew his nose and replied, "I did a terrible thing, just a few hours ago, I sold my wife to someone for a bottle of Aged Hunters Ale!"

I was shocked, "That is awful," I told the dwarf, "And now that she is gone you want her back right?"

The dwarf looked up, "Exactly!".

I was really sad for the man, "You're sorry you sold her because you still love her, right?"

He wiped a tear from his eye, "Oh, No," said the dwarf. "I want her back because I'm thirsty again!"

I once dated a girl they wrote a book about.

No matter how many matresses she slept upon, she could always tell if one was wet.

They called it "The Princess and the Pee".

Do you know why dragons sleep in a cave all day?

So they can stay up fighting knights.

I tried cross breeding an ice elemental with a wolf. All I got was frost bite!

I was at the pub last night and there was a table full of pigs eating a big meal.

But I notice one pig out of the group was only drinking water.

I asked him, if he wasn't as hungry as his kin appeared to be.

He replied, "I am the one designated to go wee, wee, wee all the way home.".

A Deldrimor dwarf was wondering in the Shiverpeaks when he found a clay pot.

He opened it and freed an imprisioned Djinn.

The creature explained that he would grant him 3 wishes but because of his evil nature,

all the Stone Summit Dwarves would get twice as much.

For his first wish the dwarf asked for 2000 bars of platium.

The evil Djinn said every member of the Stone Summit now has 4000 bars.

For his second wish he wanted a gold mine of his very own.

The Stone Summit dwarves got 2 gold mines each.

For his final wish he handed his hammer to the Djinn, "Beat me half to death with this...".

I was over at Farmer Dirk's pig farm when I noticed a sign "Talking Pig for Sale".

I walked over to the pen and asked, "Which one of you can talk?".

To my surprise a pig did respond and said, "It is I who can talk kind sir.".

So I asked the pig to tell me his tale. He began with,

I discovered my gift of speech pretty young and I wanted to help the King.

I told the King about my gift, and in no time they had me in the company of spies and leaders,

because no one figured a pig would be listening.

I was one of the King's most trusted spy for five years.

The travel tired me out, and I wanted to settle down.

I joined the Vanguard to do some undercover work, simple tasks really.

I was awarded many medals.

After hearing all this from the pig's own lips, I went to Dirk and asked how much he wanted for such an amazing animal.

He told me, "Ten gold coins.". "Why so cheap?", I asked him.

He rolled his eyes and replied, "That pig is a liar, he never did any of that stuff!"