Ashen Rohk. He'll burn your house and screw your dog.

Biography[edit]

I first picked up Guild Wars Factions in 2006 because my housemate and I needed to waste money on an RPG without it being World Of Warcraft, because both of us do intend to get laid at some point in the future. I've played online regularly, firstly with the now defunt Darksca Dark, now with The Global Guild Of Dark

I'm an officer. Somehow. Despite doing all the stuff good officers are supposed to do, my patience will only stretch so far. See 'Rules' for more information.

Characters[edit]

Ashen Rohk.... Necromancer

Elridge Solonor.... Ritualist

Elsa Jade.... Ranger

Alexei Fury.... Warrior

Irae Solonor.... Elementalist

Alexi Thunder.... Dervish

Ashen's Games[edit]

"Next person to speak gets a green!"

"Pay me in the blood of my enemies, or muffins. Preferably with muffins made from the blood of my enemies"

Ashen's Rules[edit]

1. Stop typing like a retarded walrus. You've got an entire keyboard, not a phone pad. Starting typing properly and become someone we can take seriously, not some inbred muppet who thinks numbers and constantly typing with caps lock on are cool.

2. Some of us are officers. That means we have a degree of responsibility to you. BUT, we don't run a baby sitting club for the folks that sat on the special table at school with drool slowing dripping off your chin. We like to play the game as well, and repeatedly asking us in the type highlighted by the previous rule makes me want to drive a pickaxe through your skulls. Stop annoying me, you piss me off.

3. Guess what. We have lives outside Guild Wars. We all do. We're not a bunch of obese sweaty virgins shovelling KFC down our gullets with one hand and clutching our penises in the other. Stop thinking you're above everyone else in the Alliance, be they officers or otherwise. I give everyone a fair chance, but my patience only stretches so far. Just because I don't talk about stuff I did at the weekend doesn't mean that I don't have a social life so stop treating me like some sociopath who's afraid of sunlight.

4. It's a game. If your definition of cool goes as far as how many green weapons and elite armour sets you have, and insist on telling us all every minute you're online, I may have to harm you. Mendel doesn't run a penis-measuring contest in GGoD. If you have it, great. We'll say well done and that it's nice. Once. After that you feed the dark malignant tumour that is my disdain for people like you. I play this to have fun, not to slowly lose my hope for the youth of tomorrow.

5. Stop asking for help and free stuff every 2 minutes. Ask for help, sure. But accept that we might not be able to help, so stop typing 'plz!" everyone other second. It makes you look like a hissy bitch. Most people will reply if they can, either way. On the topic of free stuff, we might give a few bits and pieces away that we don't need/want now and again, but don't get used to it. I am sick and f*cking tired of guild members asking me if they can buy a sword...THAT I'M USING. Asking repeatedly makes you look like a spoiled little brat who stamps their feet at Mummy and Daddy until they get their own way. I would quite happily bitch slap the living shit out of you with a brick if I met you in the street.