Guild:Poisonous To All
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This page is about a particular player guild. The contents of this page are player-managed and do not represent official Guild Wars lore. Any roleplaying, fictional, speculative, or opinionated claims on this page apply solely to the players in the guild, not to the Guild Wars canon. Guild pages must comply with the guild pages policy. |
Poisonous To All [ZOEY]
| Poisonous To All [ZOEY] | |
|---|---|
| |
| Territory | America |
| Language | English |
| Leader | Zoey Shy |
| Faction | Kurzick |
| Type | PvE |
| No. of members | 44 |
| Guild Hall | Frozen Isle |
Poisonous to All [ZOEY] was founded during the heady days of the Irish Potato Famine and the Black Plague, both taking place in 1240AD in the Albanian Uplands. In response to the outbreak of the plague and the general lack of a healthy potato crop, Holy Toledo traveled back in time to solve the problem.
His solution was a simple one. Slicking back his hair with gel and buying a high end sports car didn't resolve the issue, though. Faced with failure, Holy Toledo tried divorcing his wife. While this did resolve the potato famine (his face had a hearty appetite), it utterly failed to solve the Black Plague problem. Disenchanted with the whole affair, he sobbed for a while and then ran off with a member of the Dallas Cowboy cheerleader squad.
Tens of millions died in the years that followed. The dieing continued until a prosperous grave digger named Joe Namath finally saw the light. Ashamed of the profits he made digging mass graves for plague victims, Joe Namath left his shovel behind as he climbed through the Himalayas to the lost city of Shangri La.
A few weeks after Joe abandoned his shovel, the shovel was found by Zoey Shy. Unfamiliar with grave digging, Zoey put the shovel to a different use - to drive nails through planks of wood while building a guild hall. With signed charter in hand, Zoey planned on using her newly petitioned guild hall as a refuge to treat plague victims. Sadly, everyone had died by the time the guild hall was ready.
To honor the plague victims, Zoey tagged the Poisonous To All guild with her name and began operating the guild using a very rigid and exclusionary recruitment/hiring policy (see below).
Recruitment
Currently accepting applications from "blood sucking lawyers". No applications from individuals currently or previously infected with bubonic plague will be accepted.
Contact information
This Guild can be contacted through in-game messages sent to P I P Sqeak.
