|March 14, 2008
A Platinum Staff is a perfect skirt-lifting device, go figure.
- Horn: Let's start with some trivialities. Tell us about the staff Anet gave you in EotN, Fozzy.
- Fozzy: Req 9 Spawning, Energy+5^50%, +60 hp. 10k.
- Horn: OK! So...why did you choose a Platinum Staff skin?
- Fozzy: Because it has a hooked end pointing upwards (laughs).
- Horn: I see...what's with that?
- Fozzy: Well, it's perfect for lifting skirts and looking at girls panties. I looove panties (takes women underwear out of his poket and sniffs it).
- Horn: Riiight. Put that away, please.
- Fozzy: Sure.
- Horn: Fozzy, why does people go south for Spring Break?
- Fozzy: For the three B's.
- Horn: What's that?
- Fozzy: Beer, Beaches and Bitches.
- Horn: And those are great things, so why are you and the Grawl community so upset about it?
- Fozzy: I'll show you. People have always gone south for Spring Break. In the world of Tyria that means traveling to Elona, where we all have fun in the beach, as seen in my Club Elona video with the Kryta Bomber. But this year things have changed.
- Horn: How is that?
- Fozzy: Everyone is hanging out in the Far Shiverpeaks nowadays. So Elona seems a bit too far for people who wants to party hard and soon, especially when the new Asura settlements in the Tarnished Coast offer beach fun just around the corner. Further more, Koris Deeprunner's beer business is growing quick, and I have to admit King Hundar's ale is way better than Vabbian wine. As consequence, this year's spring break activities will take place mostly in Norn territory, the Charr Homelands, LA and Droknar's Forge.
- Horn: But how does this affect the Grawl community?
- Fozzy: Players are destroying the grawl population near these sites, they're coming for our Grawl Necklaces (Grawl Necklace, Ornate Grawl Necklace, Intricate Grawl Necklace, Stone Grawl Necklace).
- Horn: Why?
- Fozzy: Well, you know the Mardi Gras tradition: you give girls nice necklaces, and they flash you. It's pretty cool actually. Now, spring break has adopted this practice, and they bring it to the dirty south. That's all nice and fun, until all those sexually frustrated teenagers who play Guild Wars go and farm necklaces, killing hundreds of Grawl. It's just too much blood for only a few seconds of tits. I'd kill for some panties, though.
- Horn: That's terrible.
- Fozzy: Indeed it is. And there's not much we can do about it.
- Horn: How about talking to Anet?
- Fozzy: Anerd? AH! They are giving away free beer this weekend! Shamrock Ale as a common drop, now the players will get even more spring break stuff from our dead. It's outreagous! No, my friend, Anet won't help us. They are more likely to update The Ice Breaker, wich drops from Grawls, and rename it The Spring Breaker. All we can do is hope for this publication to change some players attitude during this holidays.
- Horn: We can do that. Thanks, Fozzy.
- Fozzy: Thank you.
New GWWT for Spring Break
Believe it or not, the following wiki code turns into a pair of boobs: var gwwtSpringbreak = true;(.)(.)
Poke is currently working on making the t-shirt look wet.
Concise Descriptions: or what Anet wastes time with instead of checking on Izzy's work
The new feature gives players the option of having smaller and more accurate descriptions for skills.
You know what it is...and if you don't, you want a complete explanation.
Life after March 13 will never be the same (yeah right), concise descriptions are changing the very way we play Guild Wars, like we've never seen before: we now have an utterly useless feature. After you download the update, your first log-in will pop up an option box, you will then have to choose between using normal or consice descriptions for your skills. But don't worry, you can always change this in the General section of your Options window (press F11). At first, this feature might seem like a good idea, but in fact, newbies will often go for normal descriptions, while seasoned players don't even read descriptions any more. So far, it's only accomplishment is giving us wiki editors a hard time, as you can see here.