Farmer Dirk

Farmer Dirk
Affiliation	Ascalonians
Type	Human
Profession	Monk
Service	Minigame
Level(s)	1, 10
Campaign	Prophecies
Image(s)
Location in Lakeside County from Ashford Abbey
Location in North Kryta Province from Lion's Arch

Farmer Angus Dirk (born in 1040 AE) is initially a resident of Ashford Village, but after the Searing becomes one of the Ascalonian refugees, and makes a second appearance in Kryta. He is later interrogated by Inquisitor Bauer during War in Kryta. He has a wife, Melly Dirk.

Locations

• Core
  • Ascalon (pre-Searing)
    • Lakeside County: 1070 AE
• Prophecies
  • Ascalon (pre-Searing)
    • Lakeside County
  • Kryta
    • North Kryta Province
      • Ascalon Settlement
• Beyond
  • War in Kryta
    • North Kryta Province (War in Kryta)
      • Ascalon Settlement
    • Lion's Arch (War in Kryta)

Quests

Quests given:

• Ascalon (pre-Searing)
  • The Prize Winning Hogs
• Kryta
  • The Last Hog

Dialogue

North Kryta Province

"This land might not look like much to you, but peat from the swamp is the best soil in Tyria.

"What's your business here?"

During the Peacekeeper encounter,

Inquisitor Bauer: "DAMN IT, we don't have time for this! Tell me where the Shining Blade is hiding!"

Farmer Dirk: "I don't know anything! I'm just a simple hog farmer!"

Inquisitor Bauer: "You're going to tell me what I want to know. It's just a question of how much it's going to hurt you!"

Peacekeeper Marksman: "Careful boss, you can't keep killing all our leads..."

Inquisitor Bauer: "Don't question my methods!"

Inquisitor Bauer: "That sure is a nice pig you have there. If you tell me what you know, I'll make sure nothing bad happens to him."

Peacekeeper Marksman: "Ummm... boss?"

Inquisitor Bauer: "Don't interrupt me while I'm interrogating a suspect!"

Peacekeeper Marksman: "But... don't those guys over there look kind of familiar?"

Inquisitor Bauer: "I don't have time to follow your ignorant hunches, I'm a professional!"

Peacekeeper Marksman: "Uhh... OK, you're the boss..."

Inquisitor Bauer: "Do you see this pine cone? Do you know what I could do to you with this pine cone?"

Peacekeeper Enforcer:"mmmmphy eees ellphin ehh ruuuph."

Inquisitor Bauer: "What? I can't understand a word you are saying! Why don't you take that stupid thing out of your mouth!?"

Peacekeeper Marksman: "He said "Maybe he's telling the truth." He has a point... maybe this farmer doesn't know anything."

Inquisitor Bauer: "Impossible! Look, farmer, tell me what you know or things are going to start getting messy!"

Farmer Dirk: "Fine, fine...the Shining Blade is hiding in...umm..."

Inquisitor Bauer: "Out with it! We're running out of time!"

Farmer Dirk: "They're in Scoundrel's Rise! Yeah, that's it! I mean... where else would scoundrels like them be?"

Inquisitor Bauer:"Of course! You men stay behind and see if you can get any more information."

Inquisitor Bauer: "I'm going to Nebo Terrace to gather my "interrogation supplies" so I can be the first to reach the traitor's camp."

(Inquisitor Bauer leaves to Nebo Terrace)

Peacekeeper Marksman: "So, what do you people know about the Shining Blade?"

<Party leader>: "The Shining What? Never heard of them."

Peacekeeper Enforcer: "mrrrmph ummmph huphin braaph?"

Peacekeeper Marksman: "I agree, my hulking accomplice. Perhaps we should jog their memory."

(Peacekeepers turn hostile)

After the Peacekeeper encounter,

"Well that was the strangest experience of my life. I just hope that guy doesn't show back up when he realizes Scoundrel's Rise is full of nothing but Skales and Mergoyles!"

Lion's Arch (War in Kryta)

"Oh, I hope those Mantle didn't do anything to my precious, prize-winning hog! Hasn't that hog gone through enough troubles already?"

Quotes

"But if you see Orville, you tell him to keep his filthy hands off my pigs!"

"Sure is lonely being a pig farmer."

"I don't get visitors all that much out here..."

"King Adelbern's cook has a standing order with me. Nothing but the best pork for the king."

"I've got work to do, so if you want to stick around, I expect you to pitch in a hand."

"So my pigs wander into Orville's garden every now and then. They don't cause no harm."

"It's all over! My pigs have escaped."

"Come back here Curly!"

Notes

• Ascalonian Townsfolk mention "Edwin" having pigs running lose when Dirk is the only one seen with pigs.
• He is interviewed by Murro for his War Chronicles commentary.
• He died in 1108 AE, and was buried in the Ascalon Settlement.