Ascalon Guard

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Ascalon Guard
See the gallery.
Affiliation Ascalon Army
Type Human
Profession Warrior Warrior
Level(s) 2, 5, 4, 8 (20)
Campaign Prophecies

Ascalon Guards are soldiers in the Ascalon Army. They take orders from Prince Rurik, but ultimately answer to King Adelbern.





"A soldier could get a nasty sunburn under this sun."
"Didn't your momma ever teach you not to talk to strangers?"
"Do I look like a tour guide?"
"Do you think the stories of King Doric are true?"
"Do you think this armor makes me look fat?"
"Doesn't the Wall look beautiful today?"
"Don't let my brother catch you looking at me like that."
"Don't touch me! I'm super important."
"Don't touch me. I said don't touch me."
"Duty calls."
"For Ascalon!"
"Go away before I show you the pointy end of my sword."
"Good day for a nap under a tree."
"Have you ever considered becoming a nun?"
"Have you heard the joke about the cookie? Aw, it's crummy."
"Haven't heard from those Krytans lately."
"How you doin'?"
"I could sure go for an ale."
"I don't have time for you right now. I'm guarding something very important."
"I hear Ascalon's Chosen are out fighting another Orrian guild today."
"I know I'm irresistible, but that doesn't mean you can just touch me whenever you want."
"I sure am hungry."
"I was the only one there, and I didn't see nothin'."
"I'd talk to you, but then I'd have to talk to you."
"If there's a better place on all of Tyria, then I've never seen it."
"It's a beautiful day in Ascalon, eh?"
"Keep it to yourself."
"Looks like it's going to rain."
"Maybe you should lay off the roasted chicken."
"Not much for a soldier to do now that the Charr have been taken care of."
"Oh, my aching feet."
"One little mistake! Now I'm stuck on guard duty."
"Pardon me, citizen, but I have very important work to do."
"Read any good books lately?"
"Seems quiet today."
"The butterflies are out today."
"Who, me?"
"Wonder what's going on north of the Wall."
"You know what I could go for right now? A big fat orange."
"You remind me a little of an alligator."
Ascalon City
"A cold mug of ale sure sounds good right about now."
"Arggh, this armor chafes me so!"
"Beat it, will ya? I'm not in the mood for talking."
"Can't you see I'm busy right now?"
"Didn't your momma ever teach you not to talk to strangers?"
"Do I look like a tour guide?"
"Do you always talk to strangers?"
"Do you think this armor makes me look fat?"
"Good to see you're out doing your part. May Dwayna bless you and keep you safe."
"Killed eight Charr today. If I get three more, I beat Horace's record."
"I can still hear the screams of the dying. It's been two years, and I still can't get them out of my head."
"I found a baby devourer in my boot this morning. Good thing I always check for 'em..."
"I got a letter from my son today. That always lifts my spirits."
"I haven't been home in four months. I wonder how my family is getting on."
"I like that young Prince Rurik. He's got his head on straight, if you ask me."
"I miss the poppies. My wife always kept a vase of them on the table."
"I need a bath. I'm really starting to stink."
"I signed up for the army just two weeks before the Searing. Bad timing, I guess."
"I used to be a musician before the Searing. Played for the king a few times, even."
"I worry about my mother's welfare. If something happened to me, there'd be no one left to care for her. "
"I'm hoping to go on leave in a few days, so don't stir up any trouble."
"I'm parched. I need to go find some more water."
"I've got a hankering for some fresh meat."
"I've really have to do something about this chafing."
"It's funny the things you remember. I remember what my wife and daughter were wearing that last day..."
"Look at this place. Nothing but dirt, ruins, and skeletons."
"Lots of time out here to sit and reflect on life."
"Mind your own business."
"My brother is a Ranger. Spends his time tramping through the woods with his cat."
"Not much of a view out here, is there?"
"Oh my aching tooth. Why didn't I go see a healer before it got this bad?"
"Sure wish this rash would heal. It's awfully hard to scratch when you're wearing full armor."
"The rations out here taste like cardboard, but at least it keeps my waistline trim."
"There was never a more beautiful place than Ascalon. Hard to believe looking at this wasteland, isn't it?"
"Things have been quiet lately. Too quite, if you ask me."
"Unless you're here to relieve me, get lost. I've got work to do."
"Wallace says Devourer blood cures baldness. You reckon that's true?"
"Wallace says eating moa bird gizzards makes you virile. You ever heard that?"
"Wallace says skale saliva cures foot fungus. I think I might try it out."
"Watch out for devourers. This place is crawling with 'em."
"Watch yourself. I don't want to have to come rescue your worthless hide if you get into trouble."
"What I wouldn't give for a good night's rest in a soft bed."
"What I wouldn't give to see just one of our beautiful Ascalon sunflowers growing out of these ruins."
"You done much traveling? I've always wanted to travel."
Old Ascalon
"My duty is to guard this gate. That's what I intend to do."
"No one gets into Ascalon City without my say so."
"This gate has nothing to fear while I'm on guard."
Nolani Academy
Has no dialogue.

Battle quotes[edit]

"Bring me your woes some other time, friend."
"Duty calls."
"Fight now. Talk later."
"Fight, damn it!"
"Help. A little help here."
"If you haven't noticed, I'm busy at the moment."
"Let's give 'em a whooping!"
"Not now!"
"Now is not the time for idle chatter!"
"Spill the blood of our foes!"
"Stop wagging your tongue and start whooping some butt!"
"Tell me later. Right now I have enemies to slaughter."
"The fight rages. This battle is not yet won."
"The time for jabbering over a pint will come later."
"To arms! To arms!"
"We will reminisce after this battle is won."
"Your words fall on deaf ears. For now I fight."



  • The quote "Don't touch me! I'm super important." is one of the random lines of the nobleman voice soundset in the Baldur's Gate game series.
  • The quote "How you doin'?" could be a reference to the catch-phrase of Joey Tribianni, a character on the popular show "Friends".